SO at the beginning of this week, I got my first Stereoplasm order today and I think I am hooked.
First: the package was so fun to open and there were so many goodies. Candy, tea, samples, and, um, just a whole bottle of maple syrup! I am thoroughly delighted. Everything was wrapped beautifully, as well!
Second, TAT: I’ve been interested in Stereoplasm for a long time, but never ordered because I was worried about the shipping from Canada. I shouldn’t have worried, because shipping was free (on orders over $100) and fast via FedEx. I placed the order late 11/6, got a tracking number on 11/12, saw that the package was picked up on 11/16, and had it in hand on 11/18- 8 business days from order to delivery.
I ordered three of the 5-piece sets (Dawn, Baking, and Darkest Hour), which seemed like a good deal and a nice way to try a variety of scents, plus 4.5 ml bottles of The Autumn People and Pickerel Frog. Then there were a whoooole bunch of stacking freebies and tons more samples on top of those!
I tested some of these fairly early on, so where necessary I have updated the reviews after a few days of resting!
About my tastes: I am very into resins, incense, smoke, woods, leather, and dark musks. I don’t usually want to smell like a straight up cupcake, but I can do foodie scents as part of a complex gourmand perfume where they are balanced by musk or other notes. A lot of sweet and dessert-type notes go super plasticky on my skin, and I have trouble getting any perfume to last very long (2 hours is a LONG time for me). I dislike most florals, but again, if they are balanced properly, I can appreciate them.
My favorites: Sunday Morning, Mourning Glory, Gone Gnome, Snow Leopard
Least favorites: Nocturnal Light, Stretchy Cat, The Ghost Rockets, and Dark, Dark
Overall impressions: This was a great experience all around! I loved the packaging and I am a sucker for fun extras- there were plenty here! I also feel like Stereoplasm has some incredibly unique scents in the indie world. On one hand, this made it challenging to decide what to try, but on the other, it forced me out of my usual scent comfort zone and I tried and liked some perfumes I never would have gone for otherwise! My favorites from this order were totally unexpected.
Here’s the whole haul and my reviews:
DAWN:
Sun Blush (Nearly-naked (and perfectly ripe) fresh peach slices with a hint of ginger root, mulled Rosé wine and fresh marshmallow crème.) 7.5 ml
Sun Blush reminds me of a delicious rosé sangria! The wine note is the most prominent, dry and delicious. There is a bit of the peach and not much ginger. I want to smell the marshmallow, but I’m not picking up on it! This has really good throw until it fades on the later drydown, leaving behind a creamy peach skin scent.
Sunday Morning (*Banana popsicle, vintage furs, edelweiss and salted margarita.) 4.5 ml
I was scared of the banana popsicle note, and I will tell you why. Warning: this is TMI. When I was 10, I had my tonsils removed. When I woke up, I felt queasy, but I was told that I wouldn’t be able to go home unless I could eat something. “Something” ended up being a banana popsicle (a flavor I would not have chosen on my own). I ate the popsicle and immediately felt about 10 times sicker. When the nurse came back to check on me, I reached peak queasiness and vomited a mixture of blood and banana popsicle all over her. This was the first and only time I have ever eaten a banana popsicle. ANYWAY, the banana here is nice and mild and behaves itself. It combines with the salty margarita for a nice tropical feel. I wonder if a banana margarita would be any good? There’s a soft fuzzy musk underneath. This smells sunny and happy, but also soft and comfy and I like it WAY more than I thought I would. It’s a beautiful sunny morning and I am snuggled into soft blankets while a breeze flutters in through my open window. The Velvet Underground start playing in my head every time I sniff my wrist. I love this, and I might no longer have a negative association with banana popsicles! Good throw, and lasts for ages.
Autokinesis (Blueberry ozone, wild ravensara, crushed daisies, silver fir and phenolic catnip.) 4.5 ml
This smells like something from Lush, but I can’t figure out what. Maybe it just smells like a Lush store! I had to look up what ravensara is and apparently it has earthy citrus and licorice notes. The end result is that there is a little bit of everything in here- berries, citrus, pine, herb, florals, and a bit of a powdery vibe. I think that might be why, as it dries down, it just literally smells like a giant box of bath bombs. I don’t dislike it! It’s clean, complex and sort of tickles my nose. Decent throw, long lifespan.
Lights Across the Sky (Circles of sun-bleached wheat, twilight musk, English lavender and upturned fennel bulbs. Shaking saucers under steaming cups of Earl Grey sink into comforting vanilla cream.) 1.8 ml
Dry, grassy wheat, blending seamlessly into Earl Grey tea. The dryness makes me think of tea leaves and not actual cups of tea. This has great sillage when I first put it on! The fennel starts to come out, but it isn’t quite as fresh as I was hoping it would be. There is maybe a hint of creamy vanilla underneath everything, but this is mostly dry and herbal. The late drydown is lightly sweetened fennel tea; as it dries, it doesn’t have much throw. It’s very pleasant but I was hoping for something stronger and longer-lasting.
Stretchy Cat (Soothing green tea garnished with fresh lemon, mint and tangerine peel served with a big bowl of bergamot-zest sorbet)
The citrus here is overwhelming and astringent to the point where it smells like a cleaning product. There is a lot of mint, too, which has a cooling effect but kind of adds to the overall chemical vibe. It has a LOT of throw. Admittedly, I am a slatherer, but I feel like any moment my dad is going to knock on the door and complain that my perfume is too strong, and he is several rooms away at the moment lol. It gets mintier as it dries and the bergamot goes kind of bitter. After a little while, it starts to smell medicinal... like a cough drop. Oh well, I was probably never going to like this because mint/citrus is just not my thing.
BAKING:
Jam Tart (Spanish Seville & ginger marmalade, shortcrust pastry, carmine, crepe paper, drops of belladonna and rose petal rouge.) 7.5 ml
I thought this was going to be super foodie and thus instantly turn to plastic on my skin, but it’s actually very nice. I don’t get much, if any, of the pastry. I mostly get sweet, gingery marmalade with just a touch of rose. Really pretty and nice for spring, I think! As it dries, it’s less jammy and more perfumey, with some papery musk. Decent throw, moderate longevity.
Banilla Cloud (Banana, fresh marshmallow, vanilla cream, white chocolate and hazelnut.) 4.5 ml
At first sniff: I want to eat my wrist. I get a sweet, creamy blend of banana and hazelnut, and I know it’s supposed to be white chocolate but that combined with the hazelnut is giving me a Nutella vibe. The banana fades super fast and then the marshmallow comes out. It never goes plasticky on me, but the drydown is mostly sweet marshmallow with a little bit of hazelnut. It fades super fast though, and is 95% gone in about 30 minutes.
The Ghost Rockets (Fresh marshmallow, candy rockets, cuckoo bread, meteor dust, lily of the valley and hazel.) 4.5 ml
What is cuckoo bread? What are candy rockets? I have no idea, and I don’t think I am likely to find out because all I smell is LILY OF THE VALLEY. This is all old lady floral perfume and powdery sweetness. I’m extra sad because when I first tried it (unrested, fresh from the mailbox), I smelled some yummy marshmallow and had high hopes. After a few days, the marshmallow is still there, but buried underneath a mountain of flowers. Rip. The flowers are tamed as it dries, but the result is a very powdery/papery scent. No marshmallow 😭
Mayflower Fleece ((spun sugalight chamomile/candied gingeearl grey) - fluffy orange clouds of sweet and zesty mayflower fleece (the official treat of the Mayweed Festival).) 1.8 ml
Ginger and chamomile, a touch of zesty citrus (I guess this is the bergamot from the Earl Grey?). Fluffy and sweet! The chamomile goes a little floral but the overall effect is pleasant and spring-like. It gets even more sugary as it dries! Yum. I will keep my sample, but probably won’t upsize.
Soft Cat (Sunday morning biscuits, sticky marshmallow fluff, warm vanilla toe beans and soft mews under piles of sun-dried cashmere.) 1.8 ml
Fresh toasted bread, dry vanilla and soft snuggly musk. This is not very sweet, which I appreciate, and it is as warm and cuddly as the name and description would suggest! There is the faintest hint of plastic (my eternal curse when it comes to foodie scents) as it dries and I am really hoping it doesn’t take over.
Update: after about 15 minutes, it smells waxy and fake, like a cheap vanilla candle. This was SO nice at first... I’m sad 😭
DARKEST HOUR:
Mourning Glory (Thick black velvet curtains, bruised palmarosa leaves, Shanghai spice, wilted white carnations and bible leather.) 7.5 ml
At first sniff, I am surprised at how much I like this. I got mostly carnation and spice, with soft leather underneath. There is a heavy, almost dusty vibe that suggests the curtains. I would also not be surprised if there was some vetiver in there somewhere. Something about it makes me think of funeral flowers, which is probably appropriate given the name. It has a pretty good throw and just smells really well-blended. It’s dark and elegant and gives off a mysterious vibe, and lasts quite a while. I really like this. I feel like I should be dressed in an elaborate Victorian mourning gown, wandering the halls of a haunted manor. I would never have bought this on its own, but I really like it and I’m glad I have a big bottle!
Candle in the Window (Melting beeswax candles, linden honey, chilled air from an open window, freshly-rolled tobacco cigarettes and flint.) 4.5 ml
I get a lovely beeswax note but then there is something really strong that reminds me of cleaning products- like literally Windex or something. I think it must be the “chilled air” because it is a very fresh, cool scent. I want more of the warm beeswax because that note is gorgeous! I am in luck, because the windex scent evaporates after a little while. The dry down is much heavier on the beeswax! The linden honey adds a prominent floral component. I don’t get any tobacco, sadly. Long term, it stays fairly close to the skin and the floral notes mostly fade to pure warm beeswax.
Nocturnal Light (Glowing red amber, star anise, mandrake accord, Egyptian tagetes and blue cypress.) 4.5 ml
Starts out with heavy amber, a teeny bit of anise and something very herbal (the tagetes? I’m not sure). The drydown is earthy, dark and, weirdly, very smoky- verging on acrid. Low throw, but it has a lot of longevity. I’m not a fan of this one.
Dark, Dark (Roasted chicory root, protective rock salt, rugosa rose, ancient myrrh and carnation petals.) 1.8 ml
I get something sharp and herbal- I think it might be the chicory mixing with the rose. There is a toastiness and something that smells dusty and old. I get a lot of myrrh in the background. There is a layer of salt over everything and it’s a particular kind of salt note that makes me think of laundry detergent. This one is not for me! It has good throw and lasts forever. Of course, only scents I don’t like want to stick around on my skin 😂
Snoozy Cat (Soft cotton candy purrs of sweet baby's breath, french lavender, dreamy garden thyme and a hint of chamomile.) 1.75 ml*
I am a big fan of sweet, cuddly lavender scents for sleep, and at first, this is just dreamy. It’s not quite as sticky sweet a lavender as Poesie’s Sleepy Ghost, nor is it quite as herbal as BPAL’s TKO- this is somewhere in between. Lavender is the star here, with hints of thyme and chamomile in the background. It’s sugary and very relaxing. Once it dries, though, this goes super powdery. It’s actually still kind of pleasant, in this nostalgic “this smells like a body spray I would have worn in middle school” way- purple, sugary sweet powder. It fades quickly after that stage, but I guess if I’m using this as a sleep scent, I don’t really mind.
Then, I made two individual bottle purchases-
Lithobates Palustris (Pickerel Frog) (Night blooming jasmine, wet grass, algae, and tomato leaf.) 4.5 ml
So this is a departure from my usual scents, but I’ve come to appreciate jasmine in certain contexts and I thought this could be interesting with the addition of tomato leaf. It has a MASSIVE throw, and the grass and tomato leaf definitely dominates the jasmine. The jasmine is there, and it’s not the jasmine that smells like cat pee (thank god), but it’s also not the sweet, heady pure jasmine that I really like. It smells a bit like fancy soap. It’s actually quite pretty, but a bit too strong and overwhelming lay flowery for me! Still, I am going to keep this around and see what happens to it as it ages.
The Autumn People (Grinning jack-o-lanterns, dripping red wax, fallen leaves, croaking mulch, shivering cardamom pods, a freshly hanged juju bag glittering in the rafters and an old page from the Witch's Almanac.) 4.5 ml
Mostly I get a blast of dry cardamom, maybe some wood in the background- but it could mostly be a cardamom single note. I think maybe this needs to rest.
Update: It’s all cardamom. I am going to keep letting it rest, but all I get, in the bottle and on my skin, is straight up cardamom! Where is the pumpkin? Where are the leaves?!
Now, onto all the freebies! There are a lot; Stereoplasm is super generous with samples!
Early Reflections (Pink grapefruit, melted shea butter, warm skin, yuzu rind, ripe guava and crushed pineapple.) 1.8 ml (bonus!)
This was one of the first Stereoplasm scents that caught my eye- I don’t normally like fruity scents, but I’ve become obsessed with guava lately and I love yuzu as well, so I was really intrigued by this description! I would have bought a full size unsniffed tbh, but it was unavailable at the time I placed my order. Sooo this is really good. I get a lot of tart yuzu at first, and some sweet guava and pineapple. There is not a lot of grapefruit. Underneath is soft shea butter, which warms everything up and smooths out the bright fruit notes. It smells KIND of like something I would buy at Bath and Body Works as a teenager, but like the last time I made this comparison, that is not necessarily a bad thing. This also just might be my personal association with fruity scents, because I don’t typically wear them. This has a bit more depth and “pizazz” than your standard body spray! I really like the combination of shea butter and the brighter fruity notes; it adds creaminess without foodieness. I do wish the guava was more prominent. This stays close to the skin with low throw.
Enjoy Your Waffles (A welcoming breakfast of homemade waffles with plenty of maple syrup, coffee and fresh-squeezed orange juice. Superseded by manipulative whispers from a garden of white daises, heliotrope and magnolia.) 1.8 ml (GWP)
Super buttery in the bottle, but on my skin it’s wildflowers with toasty waffles and a hint of coffee. Hear me out- this smells like going to a brunch buffet in a nice hotel. The lobby is full of beautiful flowers and the smell of breakfast is wafting out of the dining room. The orange juice is not really detectable on its own, but adds a little citrus zing that brightens everything up. This has a ton of sillage and seems to last quite a while!
Update: I retested this after letting it rest for a few days and the hotel association is even stronger now. I think it might be reminding me of the Bellagio in Las Vegas, with the garden in the lobby? The orange juice has also become much more prominent. There is a soft coffee note that emerges in the later stages, but it’s still heavily floral. The dry down is back to buttery breakfast foods and softer florals, but I don’t think I can get past being blasted in the face with flowers at the beginning.
Gone Gnome (Top notes of cilantro and key lime rooted in fresh garden basil, english cucumber and melon blossom.) 7.5 ml (GWP)
This is so not a list of notes I would EVER choose for myself but wow, this is SO fresh and green and I kind of feel like I smell like a salad- but in a good way. (It’s a really fancy salad, with edible flowers and lots of interesting herbal micro greens.) This smells like SPRING in a bottle! The cilantro and basil somehow just work with the tart fresh lime and cucumber. The melon blossom adds a little sweetness but this is a green, grassy, herbal blend, not really floral at all. I can almost taste this perfume. It has a crazy throw at first, but dries down to something softer, like the way your hands might smell after working in the garden for a while, and that stage lasts for a surprisingly long time.
The Great Owl (Ancient amber, frankincense, benzoin and champaka in a hollow draped in thick cobwebs, glowing citronella and vetiver root.) 1.8 ml (GWP)
ALL CITRONELLA. At least no mosquitoes will bother me? It’s November, though, so that probably wasn’t an issue to begin with. I sort of get some soft resins underneath, but they are being completely smothered by the screeching citronella. The citronella gets toned down a bit as I wear it, but wow, it is still pretty strong. I guess I will hold on to this to see if the amber and resins come out a bit more with some aging.
Last Dance (Vintage amber, creamy heliotrope, bubbly champagne, and freshly picked wildflowers.) 4.5 ml (GWP)
Mostly soft amber (light and dry, maybe white?) and white florals- it definitely has a bit of an old-fashioned perfume vibe, with a bit of champagne, just enough to add some fun fizziness. Dries down to a dry amber, low throw but quite nice.
Lovesick Lake (Bright pink and heartbreakingly optimistic; cotton candy served with thick strawberry cheesecake and sour lemon squares on a hot rainy day.) 1.8 ml (bonus!)
Lemonheads and cheesecake! Fades depressingly fast to a sugary lemon with a teeny hint of sweet strawberry. It stays in that soft, candy-like skin scent zone for a little while, and I like it a lot! Over the long term, though, it fades to lemony plastic. Sometimes I really hate my skin chemistry!
Moon Milk (Crumbs from almond tuiles and lavender sugar dust, one last sip of Fortuna tea leaves left behind in a porcelain cup reveal chilled chiffon cream illuminated by a single flame glinting off the gold filigree.) 1.8 ml (bonus!)
This was on my to-try list but I was a bit worried about the almond note. I shouldn’t have been concerned; this is a beautiful scent! I get mostly sweet lavender with a sort of cool creamy lemon and tea, and maybe a hint of an almond cookie note. Great throw, too. It reminds me a bit of Fantôme Kensington, but more tart. The dry down is unfortunately a little flat.
No Skin On (Squishy pumpkin entrails, candy cigarettes, dry forest needles and cobweb glue) 1.8 ml (bonus!)
Pumpkin guts! Un-spiced pumpkin notes are usually a little buttery, and this is no exception, but there is also a genuine fresh pumpkin scent here that I don’t usually get. There’s a little bit of sweetness from what I assume is the candy cigarette note (I don’t actually know what candy cigarettes smell like, though) and faint pine. The pumpkin is still a bit too foodie, but this is getting closer to the pure squishy raw pumpkin innards that I want. I want to try layering this under other blends when I need an extra blast of pumpkin!
Orange is Technocolour (Orange blossom petals with shea butter, house-distilled tangerine oil and apricot jam.) (bonus!)
AGGRESSIVELY ORANGE. Even the oil itself is orange! The tangerine is extremely bright and juicy and there is that nice shea butter note underneath. The apricot jam adds a little more sticky sweetness. I can’t adequately express how realistic this is! I feel like I can smell every part of the fruit- the zest, the pith, the flesh, it’s all there. I never thought I would want to smell like an actual tangerine, and yet here we are. I like it! It dries down to pure orange juice.
Rubies From Your Lips (Twilight musk, smoked wood sage, carnation corsage, holy water, green clove, damp soil and grave moss.) 1.8 ml (bonus!)
Soft musk with spicy clove and carnation, maybe a hint of smoke. The carnation here is stronger and more intensely floral than in Mourning Glory. It dries down to verrry soft clove and carnation petals, but stays super faint (in direct contrast to Mourning a Glory, which lasts for hours)! I get absolutely no moss or soil.
Snow Leopard (Panthera uncia) (Soft woodsmoke, hot toddy, mountain ozone and mint chutney.) 1.75 ml (Monthly animal - GWP)
A really nice smoke note with fresh minty air and a warm booziness from the hot toddy! This is so perfect for the holidays without actually smelling like a “Christmas” scent. It’s rich and multi-faceted and I like it very much. The later drydown is mostly sweet woodsmoke that lasts for a long time.
The Star Leaf (Morning dew, rich soil, nurturing chamomile, mossy stone, fresh herbs and all the star leaves you can eat.) 1.8 ml (GWP)
WHOA, this is an extremely realistic garden scent. If Gone Gnome is all freshly picked greens and herbs, this is the garden they came from. The soil, water glistening on bright green leaves, everything! It’s a teeny bit grassier than I would like, but this kind of just adds to the backyard garden image it creates in my mind.

ok , I promise not your standard " will this be open?" questions. We're still under Corona Rules, this is known, and literally everything is up in the air in Vegas in regards to what will be available.
​
So, I'm turning 50 this year. As such, my wife and I who pre pandemic were fairly regular Visitors 1-2 times a year for several years running have been staying home, with the exception of one pre craziness trip last June. Realizing afterwards that particular trip was a bad decision, we decided to hold off until Nov of this year for my 50th. We invited a few couples as well, thinking that we would be able to make a group trip of folks, hopefully in a much better corona managed Vegas by then. As it stands we have 6 folks, 3 couples definite, with 3-6 other folks holding off until we see how the virus restrictions are doing in NV. Obviously, we want to start some light planning around hotels, exploring what is needed for group rates if possible, and some other options. Our group is planning 4 nights, 5 days and my wife and I usually stay at the Venetian, but we are open to other upscale venues ( Aria, Cosmo, Wynn ) for the group depending on rates, etc ( We are not opposed to spending money for what is likely our only Trip anywhere in '21, but not all of our friends are financially in the same position we are).
With all that said, whats our best path forward? Do we need to try and find a host to help us, and if so, whats the best way of doing so, or is our group too small to even bother with that route? Who would we check with in regards to getting a block of rooms at some of these hotels? As for interests, We are your general type Vegas visitors, We gamble a little (blackjack mostly ) , Like to run the speakeasies ( Mob Museum and 1923lv @ Mandalay are some fun places we like) and some of the signature bars at the casinos ( Elektra/ The Dorsey At Venetian, Vanderpump At Caesars, Lily at Bellagio, Whiskey Down At MGM, etc) not too much into the Nightclubs ( I'm late 40's people, I'm not the Creepy old dude at the club type). And real talk, we want to make this not only a birthday trip to remember for me, but a Trip to remember for our Friends, some of whom have never been to Vegas before, so they don't know what it used to be like, or what they are missing from the Pre COVID days.
I'm open to any and all suggestions and advice, and yes, I am fully aware that this all may be a moot point even in November with the COVID unknown still lingering. If it isn't safe, we'll cancel in a heartbeat, but it isn't even October yet, so save the "cancel now and stay home" comment trolls.

Hello all,
I had been struggling for the past week to play Overwatch on Arch Linux using Lutris. It started fine, but after some time I started getting constant crashes when I would join a game. (I may have switched from 144hz to 60hz and that might have worked for awhile before I switched back to 144 - I tried so many things that I can't remember them all)

What shows up in my journalctl when it crashes Oct 03 12:38:22 arch-desktop-nh kernel: [drm:amdgpu_dm_atomic_commit_tail [amdgpu]] *ERROR* Waiting for fences timed out! Oct 03 12:38:22 arch-desktop-nh kernel: [drm:amdgpu_job_timedout [amdgpu]] *ERROR* ring gfx_0.0.0 timeout, signaled seq=183918, emitted seq=183920 Oct 03 12:38:22 arch-desktop-nh kernel: [drm:amdgpu_job_timedout [amdgpu]] *ERROR* Process information: process Overwatch.exe pid 8202 thread Overwatch.exe pid 8302 Oct 03 12:38:22 arch-desktop-nh kernel: amdgpu 0000:03:00.0: amdgpu: GPU reset begin! Oct 03 12:38:22 arch-desktop-nh kernel: amdgpu 0000:03:00.0: [drm:amdgpu_ring_test_helper [amdgpu]] *ERROR* ring kiq_2.1.0 test failed (-110) Oct 03 12:38:22 arch-desktop-nh kernel: [drm:gfx_v10_0_hw_fini [amdgpu]] *ERROR* KGQ disable failed Oct 03 12:38:22 arch-desktop-nh kernel: amdgpu 0000:03:00.0: [drm:amdgpu_ring_test_helper [amdgpu]] *ERROR* ring kiq_2.1.0 test failed (-110) Oct 03 12:38:22 arch-desktop-nh kernel: [drm:gfx_v10_0_hw_fini [amdgpu]] *ERROR* KCQ disable failed Oct 03 12:38:23 arch-desktop-nh kernel: [drm:gfx_v10_0_hw_fini [amdgpu]] *ERROR* failed to halt cp gfx 

​

Crash steps/info: - Start Overwatch with lutris - Join game - Sometimes it would hang while choosing character, sometimes it would hang after running into a firefight - Game hangs, audio continues - after ~10sec, screen goes black and then flashes back to Overwatch, but there are green artifact patterns all over the screen - Mouse is visible and can move but all other functions (alt-tab, etc) don't work - switching to TTY2 allows me to log in - If I wait long enough, I will eventually be brought to my SDDM login screen - Some instances, I could reboot from TTY2 - but some would hang during shutdown and never finish. This may be related to how long I waited to reboot (if I did it after SDDM relaunched then it worked - I know that) 

But, after searching through forum posts from 2014 to 2020 (apparently driver issues like this are quite common and have been around for awhile) I pieced some info together, I found one reddit post from last year stating that compiling mesa-git and llvm-git will make it work. I attempted to do this, but only managed to install mesa-git (+ lib32-mesa-git), since llvm was throwing a build error (missing file, I couldn't figure out why). Installing mesa-git also removed vulkan-radeon (as they conflict), but in the Lutris/Overwatch Git dependencies page, they mention that this is required.
It was also suggested to me to underclock my GPU a little bit to see if that would help at all. I attempted to last night, and played a game to test (on medium, it worked). NOTE: this was the first test after installing mesa-git, so I know that I needed to test things further.
This morning I tried playing a few games, with no underclocking active. I seem to have stability (for) now, and started ramping up the quality until I was at my computer's comfy limit.

10:05:38 ❯ uname -r 5.8.13-zen1-2-zen ~ 10:06:25 ❯ yay -Qi mesa-git lib32-mesa-git Name : mesa-git Version : 20.3.0_devel.129017.3b3a3af9c76-1 Description : an open-source implementation of the OpenGL specification, git version Architecture : x86_64 URL : https://www.mesa3d.org Licenses : custom Groups : None Provides : mesa opencl-mesa vulkan-intel vulkan-radeon vulkan-mesa-layer libva-mesa-driver mesa-vdpau vulkan-driver opengl-driver opencl-driver Depends On : libdrm libxxf86vm libxdamage libxshmfence libelf libomxil-bellagio libunwind libglvnd wayland lm_sensors libclc vulkan-icd-loader zstd expat llvm-libs=10.0.1 Optional Deps : opengl-man-pages: for the OpenGL API man pages clang: opencl [installed] compiler-rt: opencl [installed] Required By : gst-plugins-base-libs gtk3 lib32-mesa-git libglvnd qt5-base steam virglrenderer xf86-video-amdgpu zoom Optional For : ocl-icd tigervnc vulkan-icd-loader Conflicts With : mesa opencl-mesa vulkan-intel vulkan-radeon vulkan-mesa-layer libva-mesa-driver mesa-vdpau Replaces : None Installed Size : 131.23 MiB Packager : Unknown Packager Build Date : Sat 03 Oct 2020 12:57:41 PM Install Date : Sat 03 Oct 2020 02:08:31 PM Install Reason : Explicitly installed Install Script : No Validated By : None Name : lib32-mesa-git Version : 20.3.0_devel.129017.3b3a3af9c76-1 Description : an open-source implementation of the OpenGL specification, git version Architecture : x86_64 URL : https://www.mesa3d.org Licenses : custom Groups : None Provides : lib32-mesa lib32-vulkan-intel lib32-vulkan-radeon lib32-libva-mesa-driver lib32-mesa-vdpau lib32-opengl-driver lib32-vulkan-driver Depends On : mesa-git lib32-gcc-libs lib32-libdrm lib32-wayland lib32-libxxf86vm lib32-libxdamage lib32-libxshmfence lib32-elfutils lib32-libunwind lib32-lm_sensors glslang lib32-vulkan-icd-loader lib32-zstd lib32-llvm-libs=10.0.1 Optional Deps : opengl-man-pages: for the OpenGL API man pages Required By : lib32-gtk3 lib32-libglvnd steam Optional For : lib32-vulkan-icd-loader Conflicts With : lib32-mesa lib32-vulkan-intel lib32-vulkan-radeon lib32-libva-mesa-driver lib32-mesa-vdpau Replaces : None Installed Size : 97.91 MiB Packager : Unknown Packager Build Date : Sat 03 Oct 2020 02:10:33 PM Install Date : Sat 03 Oct 2020 02:19:20 PM Install Reason : Explicitly installed Install Script : No Validated By : None 

TL:DR; mesa-git saved me from constant crashes. although it removed vulkan-radeon (which I thought was required). Overwatch is the only game I've known to crash my system like this
edit to add: I used amdgpu-clocks to underclock, which requires amdgpu.ppfeaturemask=0xffffffff to kernel parameters. maybe this has an effect on things too

🌿I'm pretty sure at this point of my life at 46-years old, my mind is set on becoming a licensed Landscape Architect. The niche I'd like to work in: green roof designs, vertical gardens, and urban planning for sustainable architecture. I'm just uncertain what degree will be the best foundation when obtaining a 2nd baccalaureate degree, as my current undergraduate degree is in accounting.
Right now I'm unemployed at the moment being as part of layoffs back in JUN-2020 from working with a resort's accounting dept. I am wondering if I should pursue the Landscape Architecture route, Global Geodesigns route w/ a minor in Landscape Architecture, or Architecture route. I realize one doesn't need to know it all, as you're just a piece of the puzzle when taking part in group construction projects. I'm just uncertain which track to pursue for the best foundation in my career change (to come into fruition much later in life). I don't intend to stop w/ a 2nd Bachelors, but I'm determined to pursue an MLA as well from a recognized and accredited program.
Wherever I land work, will be the towne I sign up with to join their local Toastmasters.
As for my current work situation the following are a few of the positions out there I want to apply for:
-- Remain living w/ parents in San Diego. Apply to an unpaid (6-12 months) Development Assistant post w/ The Water Conservation Garden while taking community college courses at Cuyamaca College for a Certificate in Sustainable Urban Landscapes. I was thinking doing both of the above during the daytime, while I work nights as a Night Auditor for a hospitality establishment.
-- Work as an Accountant for the next 5-years with the Desert Botanical Garden in Phoenix, Arizona.
-- Work as an Accountant with the University of Southern California. Eventually, become a student in their Global Geodesign program + minor in Landscape Arch. It may be quite a stretch, but hoping to intern w/ WET Design in L.A. (the global leader in fountain designs, and creator of the Bellagio fountains and The Jewel water vortex in Singapore's Changi Airport.)
-- Work as a Financial Accountant III with Texas A&M. Hopefully, get a tuition discount if accepted as a student to enter their Landscape Architecture program for a 2nd bachelors.
-- Work as an Accounting Manager full-time in Bozeman, Montana for a good number of years to save up to be a full-time student at Montana State University.
-- Other options...
In a nutshell, the National University of Singapore tops my list for graduate studies down the road in Landscape Architecture. It is an absolutely stunning country! Although, I do have to research more about the university's program. I don't believe in retirement. My aim is to live and work in Singapore for a globally-recognized Architecture firm.
Any feedback would be greatly appreciated! Thanks.🌻

A while ago I made a post with a title like "7-10 days trip in Northern Italy". Here's my report. Be prepared, it's long. I'll start with what I saw and did, then will do a small part on my mood and mental health during th e trip.
First, thank you all for the advices. I'm still in the trip, but have only one day left which will be for chilling and no intense visiting.
Also, it's Italy. It's always a good idea to go to Italy.
My initial plan was : Milan - Lake como - Bergamo - Lake Garda - Lake iseo.

MILAN

I started with 2 days in Milan. I have friends there, so it was an obvious staring point. My Italian friends there don't like the city, but I quite enjoyed it. I have to admit that for once, the covid situation is making things better as there are less tourists, and hotel prices are lower. I stayed at the hotel Flora near the central station. 55€/night. Not good, not bad. OK for solo. I really enjoyed the city. The architecture, the different neighbourhoods, the people,... Really loved it (my feet after 26km,a bit less). I saw the Duomo of course, which was pretty much empty. Really impressing, and the galleries near it as well. I did pretty much all the Da Vinci museums / places, except the church with the last supper, as it was closed for the afternoon (?!). I also did a lot of churches, parks, places, the Milan University (where you can have beers every night right in front the beautiful main building), etc. I spent the last evening in the navigli area, with a beautiful sunset over the river and the colorfull bars and restaurants. I then moved to Lake Como.

LAKE COMO

I had booked 2 nights in Bellagio, at the hotel Fioroni. Around 65€/night, family run. Really nice place, had a double room for myself with a tiny balcony, absolutely stunning view on the mountains, could see a bit of the lake on my left. Just imagine, waking up, having the sunrise on the yellow houses and the lush green mountains, with an absolute silence. Paradise. Good breakfast too and free parking. 15 minutes walk from the city center, either by following the road with view on the lake, or from inside the village, which makes you arrive on the other side of bellagio. This city/village is really really great and beautiful. More tourists than in Milan though, on a Sunday evening. The Monday was totally empty. Amazing food, stunning view on the lake.
For food, try the enoteca cava turaciolo. Simple and good set of cheese and ham, but it's the wine that you go there for. I took a tester of 3 wines, 2 reds and one white. One of the red just blew my mind. Sfurzat carlo negrid. Just, wow. Waiter took the time to explain the origins, how to pour it properly, and we descussed a bit.
All the little narrow streets are super cute, and for the Instagram fans, that's where you can take a lot of the empty narrow streets pictures.
The next day, I went to visit Como. Quite nice town, about an hour drive from Bellagio. They have an hydroplane club, nice and cute city center. The Duomo is quite impressive as well, but that's for the walk on the pedestrian alongside the big villas that you go there. Simply beautiful. Makes you wish the time stops. I just stayed an one bench for 20 minutes, lookking at the opposite side of the lake, without thinking to anything. Only disturbed by a chopper bringing construction material to what i guess is the future villa of a rich person.
Then I drove to cernobbio. Equally beautiful and much more peaceful, but smaller. I also could have gone there on foot from como. I did not stayed there too long, but still enjoyed it. And, as everywhere on Lake como, the view is just splendid.
The last evening I went back to my hotel in bellagio, and I went for supper to the hotel métropole. I wish I had not. I should have checked Google before. I just saw they had the traditional fish risotto from that area. They rushed everything, I got the dish while I still had my aperitivo. Then the wine. I ordered the same whine I had the day before (the surfzat) at the enoteca. They did not serve me what I ordered. I got a low grade headache-inducing shitty wine. The fish on the plate was, I'm pretty sure, reheated in a micro wave oven. That really took my mood down. Shame because I was in a pretty good spirit by then.
At least, I could enjoy one of the most beautiful sunset I've ever seen in my life.
Anyway, I got the fuck out of there and we t back to my hotel, prepping for the next day, which was departure day to Bergamo, just for the day and spent the night in garda, on the lake of the same name.
When I woke up, I did not want to go to Bergamo. I was just too in harmony with the lake como, and I wanted to see the villa del barbianello, which I could not visit before as it was closed on Mondays. So I figured, let's go to varena, and take a boat trip from there.
The drive was really enjoyable, loads of little cute villages.
When I arrived in varenna, I was instantly charmed by the place. This is the typical lakeshore village, absolutely stunning, cute, loving, insert any adjective here. I absolutely love the place. Made me think I want to spend my retirement there.
As the streets are a bit narrow, not many tourists still felt like a bit more than in the other places. But it's as idealistic as you could expect.
Got a pizza at the bar il molo. Fairly priced, and OK for quality. Spirits are cheap too. The ice cream was ginormous and cheap.
In the end, I did not go to the villa del barbianello, as I'd prefer spending more time in Varenna.
But still, around 3pm,i had to take the road for the 2hours drive to Garda.

LAKE GARDA

The drive to Garda (the city) was a bit less pleasant then around Lake Como, but that was expected, as it's a good chunk of highway.
Instantly, I felt like I should have started with garde then como, as the landscape is quite a downgrade. Don't get me wrong, it's also really nice and beautifully, but the scenes are less grandiose than on Lake como.
Many many more tourists there, and if the prices are much lower than on lake como, the quality is too. The bars are more rushed. Hotel is meh.
I'm not feeling confortable here. I want to leave. I'm writing these lines "enjoying" a spritz on the harbor.
One think that is really nice, is the sunset. There a small cliff going down slowly to the water surface and the sun drops being it, showing you wonderful colors and a stunning view. Can't complain about that at all.
I've been trying to go to a restaurant two times, but it seems like they don't like solo travellers. That pissed me off more than I'd care to say, because I really wanted to go there.
Tomorrow will be driving to lake iseo, a hotel in iseo and a short night before going to the airport around 5m to come back to my no-so-sweet Belgium.

MENTAL HEALTH

first of all, I'm not what we can say a very stable person. I have my moods, and they can change quite quickly. That being said, I'm still quite rational or I'm trying to be.
If you've read what i wrote before, you've deduced that everything was going pretty well until that first disgusting restaurant in Bellagio. That started to bring my spirit down. But I spoke to friends through fb and it went OK.
Globally, I chilled while I Was visiting everything, stopped when I wanted to stop, ignored what I wanted to ignored, and just did wathever I wanted without caring for anything or anyone. This is a wonderful feeling.
I did not go into deep thoughts. Just left a blank in my brain. Looking to nature or whatever was in front of me, and to nothing else.
Basic rule, don't look at your emails. Don't look at the news. Cut yourself from everything. I've partially failed at that for the news. But did not checked my mails.
Now, in garda, my mood is really down. I just want to be over with this place. Not enjoying it at all. I went to sirmione today, but Barelystayed 2h,to see and go.
Yesterday evening I just took spritz on spritz, not being drunk, but just to occupy my mind. Which is not good. I told my self I'd not do that today... Well, I've just finished my second one. But I'll go for food now and not take alcohol.
I just don't know what to think, or how to improve my frequent depressed mood.
One think that cheers me up for after the trip though, is that through a friend we have in comon, we'll go to a concert with a girl a fancy. (My friend will be there too, but that's totally ok).
Now the sun Is slowly going down, revealing a beautiful scene, and that's cool.

CONCLUSIONS

some places were lovely, others stunning, others not so much. But overall a quite nice stay.
I guess I have to work a bit more on my mindset and how to improve it to enjoy more the time I spend alone, and go over micro setbacks more easily.
I haven't met anyone, and did not desire too, so that's cool.
I've probably left things aside, so feel free to ask any questions.
Cheers.
Edit : here's the report for the last 1.5 days.
So last day I went to the lake iseo, as it was planned originally and I've often seen online that it's sort of a hidden gem.
It is.
There an island (actually, 3 islands) in the lake, one being much more massive than the others (like it is 9km circonference). It's quite lovely, and the water is really clear. Haven't seen anyone swimming though. I went on the island with the ferry from sulzano. 5.5€ for a return ticket, takes 5 minutes to go to the other side. Runs every 20 min. Monte Isola, the big island, is really lovely. Nice colors, quite chill. Again, September + covid made it quite empty of tourists, just a few here and there.
I did not do the whole tour of the island, nor the climb up the castle. I was following my feet, and they brought me halfway up, then wanted to go back down and have a beer, enjoy the view and the very warm weather.
I spent in total something like 2h there, but it's worth spending more. Apparently in June and July they place some floating paths between the islands, so you don't have to take the boat. They were not installed anymore yesterday.
After taking the ferry back to sulzano, I went to the charming little village of Iseo, where I had booked my last hotel. Hotel ambra, 65€/night. Quite nice actually. Had to wake up at 4.30 to gety plane in milano, and they offered early check out and breakfast by the on duty person for the night. Really appreciated.
Iseo itself looks quite touristic, but the inside has some old style Italian feelings, which I always like.
Just spent the evening looking at the lake, got a nice (big!) ham cuts as starter and a pizza as main, to properly end up my Italian stay (had the pasta yesterday at the bussola restaurant in Garda).
Now, enjoying an iced coffee at the only Starbucks in Italy at milano malpenza Airport, waiting for my flight.
There you go, report complete.
Cheers x2.

Potentially looking to stay in Vegas for at least a night on a road trip from Salt Lake on our way to Joshua Tree and maybe San Diego. What should we expect in Vegas? Are casinos open? Bellagio fountain doing its thing? Naked street performers on Fremont Street? I’m wondering if it’s gonna be Vegas as usual or to just skip it altogether. I know I know, I’m traveling during a global pandemic but I’m actually trying to be as safe as possible. Hence why we’re doing national parks and outdoor activities.

This is going to be a long post. My life story almost. It all started in 2010 when I was introduced to poker. Yada yada yada, I got hooked.
Naturally a tight passive player, I was able to stretch each $20 deposit a long way.
I slowly started adding aggression. Betting with flush draws, etc.
Ran it up to around 3k.
Booked a flight to LA to go visit my cousin but it was really just an excuse to go to commerce casino (my first live experience).
Didn't know about their $40 buy in structure. Lost 3k in 1 week.
quit playing for a while.
black friday happens.
Dream is offically dead.
Oh wait, what are these off shore sites. Bodog? sportsbookpoker? intertops? cake? wtf. lets check them out.
Ran good on intertops. Turned $20 into 4.3k in 1 week by running like Usain.
Played against a guy named ivysaurus for my entire roll at 25/50 headsup.
Lost.
Called it quits again.
got a job at a restaurant.
worked there for 2 years.
saved up 10k.
moved to vegas in 2016.
played live 1/2.
played too loose.
Lost about 2k the first month.
Switched over to playing 1/3 at bellagio.
better results started happening.
wpt diamond is starting.
Cameras all over the place in bellagio.
poker tables all full.
The sportsbook is filled with tables now.
My roll is at 16k.
I try to get into a 1/3 game. Waitlist too deep.
2/5, same story.
Theres an open seat at a 5/10 game.
eh why not, im running good lately.
I sit down. Called down 2 streets 2nd pair.
My heart is racing. Villain checks river. I check back. I win.
$300 profit in 1 hand.
New villain sits down at table.
Hes a tv guy that plays 25/50 on poker night in america. I forget his name. Arabic or armenian lookin dude with curly hair.
He wild.
Hes splashing cuz hes just trying to pass the time until he gets into the bigger games.
I win 2k off him in like 30 minutes. He gives me the death look and mutters some curse words. Floor comes over, tells this man his seat is open. He gets up. Floorman picks up his chips for him cuz he a bitch.
Game seems to be too tough now. Actually its the same game, but Im sitting on a 4k stack. I get nervous and cash out.
my bankroll at like 19k now. Highest point of my life.
Fell in love with a hooker. Down 3k.
bankroll 16k.
Refocus.
Go to aria to play some 1/3.
Crush it.
Lots of noise at a plo table in the corner near the bathroom.
I get on the waitlist for that game.
Im addicted to plo now.
Ran good at first. Won like 5k my first week playing 1/3/5 plo.
Then my ev started leveling out. I was never a winner at plo.
Lost the 5k right back and then some.
dont worry, losing 5-7k in a week isnt that bad.
or is it?
damnit it was.
This was the moment I should have gone back to 1/3 nl.
but nope. Plo more fun.
kept playing. learning on the fly. didnt do that bad looking back on it, but it was still bad.
my bankroll was down to 14k at one point and I remember feeling so defeated.
I might as well have had $100 to my name, cuz thats what it felt like. I do not know why. Mental issues.
It was all down hill from here.
the chase begins...
fill in the blanks
you know how this story ends.

Just took a trip...here is what I saw/notes. Feel free to ask questions
Major push for sanitation INSIDE casinos/hotels, etc. If you're on the Strip outside you're on your own
Imagine the Strip at night and then eliminate about 85% of it. Not a lot of "sideshows" "performers" etc. Very comfortable walking in terms for crowd size
All the casinos are doing their best when it comes to health (Bellagio has plexi glass), masks at all tables, slots shut off/chairs removed.
10% of the people wear masks that are not employees or working somewhere
I know there is more but ask if you want

A paranormal circus wasn’t really my kind of thing, but I didn’t have any performances that evening and an anonymous benefactor had sent me a front-row ticket.
The sparkling black-and-purple circus tent was packed with people. I admit that I can be a bit skittish sometimes, and the macabre costumes of the undead clowns that would roam the aisles startled me an embarrassing number of times, but the show was a spectacle well worth the scares. The acts were at once chilling and captivating. I found myself holding my breath as the vampiric knife-thrower stabbed silver blades dangerously close to her prey, and gasped with the rest of the audience when the ghoulish acrobats clung precariously to each other in their aerial act.
Among the extravagantly dangerous performances, though, the show-stopper was none other than the circus magician.
Small and lean and dressed in a purple satin suit, the magician didn’t look any older than seventeen or eighteen. It wasn’t uncommon for young prodigies to enter the performance scene so early, but something about him was different. He exuded a kind of confidence that most wouldn’t learn to have until well into their career, and wore a slightly crooked smile that made him at once charming and dangerous.
As for his tricks, they were nothing short of breathtaking. With a wave of his hand, he turned the flowing purple drapes around the aerial silk dancer into fluttering rose petals and effortlessly caught the dancer in his arms. He called a volunteer to the stage, whispered something in his ear, and made him dance like a puppet on its strings. At one point he simply walked onstage and snapped his fingers, instantly engulfing himself in deep violet flames that rose high into the air before slowly sputtering out as he took a small bow, completely unscathed.
I rarely found much of a challenge in puzzling out the secrets of other magicians’ routines, since my own familiarity with magic usually made it easy to reason out how others would craft their own tricks. The silk turning into petals was a work of clever setup and practiced timing backstage. The volunteer who got hypnotized was most likely planted there. And while a full-body burn was a bold move, these circus performers were probably used to risking their lives daily.
I only began to suspect something was strange when the young magician began to perform a classic stage trick. A slender lady accompanied him onstage and lowered herself into a long wooden crate.
Conventionally, the crate would be placed on a specially designed table, but the table onstage was plain.
The crate was also commonly wide enough to fold the body into, but this one was a tight fit.
The feet sticking out of one side of the crate wouldn’t usually move, but these bobbed as the lady adjusted herself.
Mildly impressed, I was beginning to think of what clever trick the young magician had devised when the giant carpenter’s saw bit deep into the crate and the lady began to scream.
I gripped the edges of my seat and told myself it was just an act as the magician hacked into the crate. The screams grew louder and more frantic, and the crate rattled as the lady twisted in what appeared to be pain, her feet twitching spastically. Thick red blood began to pool underneath the crate.
The magician didn’t so much as blink. His blade and now his hand were stained, and blood dripped from the table as he relentlessly drew the saw back and forth, back and forth. The audience was silent and the lady just kept screaming, until there was an audible crunch and she went completely still.
That was a lot of fake blood. I wondered if they had concealed a jug of it somewhere. They must have gotten assistance from some big-shot Hollywood artists to get the black bits and chunks in there.
The magician put down his saw and turned the severed halves of the crate towards us to see. The audience gasped and murmured at the very realistic-looking torso-halves. I peered into the crate itself. Other than the grotesque severed body, it seemed to be empty and plain.
The magician swiveled the crate-halves back together and smiled. His eyes glittered strangely as he took in the suspense. Then he placed his hands on the crate, closed his eyes, and simply breathed for several long moments.
The lady’s eyes snapped open. The audience cheered wildly as the magician opened the crate, helped her to her feet, tidied her now blood-soaked dress, and led her offstage.
As the lights dimmed and the stagehands swooped in to clean up the props, I could have sworn I caught the metallic scent of blood.

Of all the people who could come up to me, I was intercepted by a demonic clown on my way out.
He smiled wide with slit lips and jagged teeth, gesturing for me to follow.
“I don’t really need more pictures,” I said.
He kept gesturing. I let out a small sigh and followed him through the crowd to one of the side exits. We stepped out into the night and he began to lead me around the back of the circus tent.
“Where are we going?” I asked, beginning to grow uneasy.
The clown just smiled back at me.
I followed as far behind him as I could without seeming rude, which really wasn’t very far at all. Before I knew it, we were removed from the crowds at the very back of the circus yard littered with swampy puddles from the afternoon’s rain. Square black tents about the size of typical New York bedrooms occupied the grounds. The clown turned to me and pointed at one.
“You want me to… go inside?”
He nodded.
I swallowed. The clown stepped back in a comically exaggerated manner, as if to pantomime to me his intent not to harm me. Somewhat encouraged by this, I stepped up to the tent and gingerly brushed the drapes aside.
Sitting in the tent at a table with two slender wineglasses, surrounded by glittering yellow fairy lights strung along the walls, was the young magician.
Upon seeing me, he smiled, got to his feet, and held out his hand.
“Mr. Herring,” he said. “A pleasure to finally meet you.”
In retrospect, it was incredibly rude of me to not shake his hand, but hearing him speak for the first time combined with the fact that he knew my name caught me off guard. I blinked, dumbfounded.
“You know me?”
“Of course. From the Bellagio escape act, right?”
“Ah,” I felt myself blush a little. “That was a long time ago.”
“Certainly not long enough to forget. Please, come in. I’ve always wanted to speak to you.”
Somewhat awkwardly, I took my seat at the table across from the young magician. The clown walked in carrying a tall bottle.
“I do hope you like champagne.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Are you old enough to…?”
The magician laughed. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“Ah, apologies.”
“No, no, it’s really fine.”
As I sipped the rose-colored champagne, I couldn’t help but study the young magician’s face. Some of his stage makeup was still on, making his angled jawline and high cheekbones stand out. He wore unsettlingly vivid purple contacts that were covered only by the tips of his long thick eyelashes.
He certainly didn’t look old enough for any of this.
“Forgive me,” he said quickly, noticing my staring. “I don’t believe I’ve introduced myself. My name is Alexander Chase. On the stage they call me The Mirage.”
Hearing those words rang a bell at the back of my mind. I had probably heard some of my colleagues talk about him.
“The Mirage,” I echoed. “That’s in the name of the show, isn’t it? The Mirage Carnival.”
Alexander smiled. “Yes. This is my show.”
“That’s very impressive. Leading an entire circus troupe.”
“Thank you very much. I couldn’t have done it without you.”
“Without me?”
“You inspired me to begin performing. The Bellagio escape struck a deep chord, and since then I’ve followed all of your work. I’ve always wanted to be like you.”
This was completely unexpected. I could feel myself swell with pride.
“I dare say you may have already surpassed me,” I said. “The tricks today were very impressive.”
“You don’t know how much those words mean to me, Mr. Herring.”
“Please, just call me Bryan.”
Alexander smiled. “Bryan.”
The way his tongue formed the sounds sent a quiet chill down my spine. In his voice, my own name became mysterious and dangerous.
I was startled off my train of thought when a dozen heavy footsteps broke through the nighttime air, sprinting towards the tent.
“What is that?”
Alexander cursed. “They found me.”
“Who-”
“Quiet.”
More footsteps scrambled to meet the disturbance. There were shouts of alarm and a loud, resounding crack.
I looked to Alexander. He narrowed his eyes at the drapes covering the entrance to the tent. The commotion drew closer with every second.
A spray of gunfire tore through the grounds.
“Run,” Alexander said. “Don’t let them see you.”
Before I could process what he said, he grabbed me by the wrist, turned to the back wall of the tent, and swept his other hand through the air. The black fabric wall rippled and peeled open like a flower blooming.
“W-what…”
He waved his hand and the fairy lights blinked out, plunging us into the night. As the last of the glow faded, I thought I saw him take something small and shiny from his pocket and toss it on the floor. Then he leaped out through the hole in the wall, yanking me through behind him, and began to run.
“Alexander-”
“I said quiet,” he snapped in a hushed tone. “And call me Alex.”
Voices shouted behind us, the heavy thudding of boots in pursuit. Another round of gunfire tore through the air. I almost dropped to my knees and scrambled for cover, but Alex kept me running.
We ran out of the circus yard through a break in the fence and onto muddy dirt roads. My joints cramped up and I almost slipped and fell several times, but my adrenaline kept me going. I risked one look behind us but saw nothing in the dark. Police sirens wailed in the distance.
“Bryan,” Alex said.
“Huh?”
“We’re going to jump.”
I strained to see the ground in front of us. Closing in fast was a puddle spanning the entire width of the road, filled with muddy rainwater.
“Wait, Alex-”
“Jump.”
Something in his voice instantly compelled me to leap into the air, hurtling straight for the puddle. I yelped and held out my free hand, bracing myself for a face-first impact into inch-deep mud.
Then we broke the surface and sank deep into the cold murky water.
It was dark. I couldn’t see anything. I was somehow submerged from head to toe, tiny bubbles swirling around me like I had just dove into a pool. I stretched my legs downwards but couldn’t feel the bottom.
Alex squeezed my wrist.
Buried in the sounds of rushing water, I could hear my crashing heartbeat. I held my breath and long seconds passed, until we heard the sounds of boots splashing through shallow puddles directly above us. Then they were gone.
Alex swam upwards, pulling me along. We broke the surface and pulled ourselves onto a strangely smooth and supple floor.
As I caught my breath, soft yellow light flooded the small cubical space. We were back in Alex’s tent, surrounded by fairy lights. Alex’s purple satin suit was dry, and so were my clothes. There was no trace of water on the floor.
There was a click behind us.
We turned to see the man in full body armor and a helmet with a reflective visor. He held a pistol pointed at Alex.
Embroidered on his jacket was a patch that read NSF.
“Come peacefully,” he said. Perhaps I was mistaken, but his voice sounded like he was shaking. His pistol wavered, trained between Alex’s eyes.
Alex chuckled.
“Ah, you’ve got me. I really didn’t want to put Bryan Herring in danger, but you just had to choose today to storm my town.”
The armored man’s finger trembled on the trigger. He began to reach for the radio at his hip.
I swallowed. “Alex…”
“Now that you’ve seen Bryan with me, I guess it’s gotta be either you or him. Easy choice.”
Alex snapped his fingers. Deep violet flames sprang out of thin air and engulfed the man.
I gasped and scrambled away as the man’s armor caught fire like kindling. Wild gunshots rang out, but the bullets went wide as he twisted and screamed, the flames slowly consuming him.
Alex stood still, watching. A thin smile tugged at his lips. His eyes flickered with the flames, barely concealing something deadly behind them.
I cowered in the corner, only watching because I couldn’t tear my eyes away.
There was no heat to the flames, and instead of the stench of burning flesh, the sweet aroma of roses filled the air. The burning lump of a man crumpled to the floor. Slowly, the screaming diminished to small choking sounds, and after what felt like an eternity, it was quiet.
The flames flickered out. There was nothing left but a smudge of soot on the tent floor.
“Alex,” I whispered. As the adrenaline sputtered, a million questions filled my head.
The young magician let out a small, contented sigh.
“Alex,” I managed, this time loud enough to be heard. I was trembling. “You killed someone.”
“It was you or him, Bryan.”
“How?”
“They saw you with me, which put you in danger. I don’t want you to live my life of being pursued. Not that you could survive long.”
“But…”
He turned to me and put a finger to his lips. “No more.”
"Alex, I really need some answers."
He stared me down with his unsettling gaze. I don’t know what came over me, but I refused to falter. After a few tense moments, his eyes softened.
“One question,” he said.
I thought hard, but the million questions overlapped and echoed in an unbearably confusing chorus.
In the end, I could really only ask one question.
“You’re not human, are you?”
Alex smiled. He held out his hand and pulled me to my feet. I looked down at him now, waiting.
“No,” he said simply.
I nodded.
“It’s time for you to go,” he said. “I would love to spend more time with you, really get to talk, but… not today.”
“Will I see you again?”
“One question.”
I pursed my lips.
“When you get home, no telling anyone and no calling the police. Got it?”
I nodded, again.
“It was a true honor meeting you, Bryan. Something I’d looked forward to for years.”
Alex stood on the tips of his toes and leaned in close to my ear.
“Now, be on your way.”
I don’t remember anything after that.

When I came to, I was lying in bed in my house. I had a pounding headache, and I wasn’t sure what day or time it was. It felt like I had been asleep for a long time.
A quick look around the house revealed that the power cord on my landline phone was cut and the antennae on my Internet router broken off. On my kitchen table was a sticky note with something written on it. Albeit shaky, I could recognize my own handwriting.
1. No telling anyone
2. No calling the police
See you again soon.
​
Next

This is probably going to get long, I tend to write too much, sorry.
TLDR: Friend meeting me on vacation was quarantined, redditors saved me from going to shows alone, and helped me overcome some of my anxiety and agoraphobia.
I’m a huge introvert, with a mild case of agoraphobia, mainly only affects me when I’m alone in public places. I don’t have much of a social life, I work from home and get out of the house like twice a week to get groceries. I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety all my life, and have isolated myself from the world over the past 40 years of life. I’ll spare you the details, I’m sure it’s in my comment history if you look, but all of this is relevant.
Between isolation, working too much, and a lot of stress from work I’ve been in a bad spot with depression for a couple months. I started telling work that I needed a break. We’re in the middle of a huge project that I’m leading so I never felt the time was right. One of the owners called me one evening and told me that I’m important to the team and they don’t want me burned out and asked that I take a vacation. I can’t share the details publicly, but he made a generous offer to encourage me to go on vacation.
I knew I’d always wanted to visit Las Vegas, but I’d never dream of spending a vacation anywhere by myself. Vacations have always been staycations for me. So I got ahold of an old high school friend who I haven’t seen in 20 years and asked if he wanted to plan a vacation to Vegas together. He said yes, we figured out the dates, and I booked it. Flight, hotel, and tickets for 5 Vegas shows. I booked two tickets to shows every night for us to see, 4 Cirque du Soleil shows plus David Copperfield. Cirque du Soleil was the main draw to Vegas for me, obviously. All ticket sales were final and non-refundable.
I flew in Thursday evening on March 5th, dropped my things in the hotel, and then grabbed an Uber to a dispensary. Legal weed sure is nice. Friday morning I went to the aquarium at Mandalay Bay. There was a lot of anxiety involved but I was proud of myself for getting out there. Stopped at CVS and stocked up on soda after that, because fuck paying $12.75 for a can of Coke from the mini bar, should’ve looked at the prices before I had that first one. Oops. But I digress.
Friday afternoon comes and my friend sends me a text. His job is forcing him to self quarantine for 14 days. Fucking coronavirus. He’s been sick for 2 weeks and his work has sent him to 2 other states during that time. He said he feels fine and just had some sniffles at that point, but his job told him they will terminate him if he came to Vegas. Frankly I’m glad he didn’t get on another plane if there’s any chance he’s carrying coronavirus. Kinda fucked up that his job was flying him around while he was sick but finally refused when it was time for his vacation. No confirmation that he actually has coronavirus, and it’s entirely possible he made up the story, but that’s what I was told.
But that left me in Vegas alone. Panic ensues and I start reaching out for someone to accompany me to these shows. I have a second cousin who lives in town, but we barely know each other. Offered him any he wanted to see but didn’t get a response. I thought, what the hell I’ll make a post on reddit.
I made a post over at /vegas and at /vegaslocals and it got a little attention in the locals sub.
One redditor hit me up willing to see any show I wanted. She said she was the same age as me but had no reddit history that I could check out. We exchanged messages for a bit and she seemed like a decent and interesting person. We switched over to text, exchanged photos, and made arrangements to meet up. I made it very clear that the only expectation was to fill the seat next to me, she made it very clear she was in a relationship. She accompanied me to dinner for a quick burger first, though she declined my offer to get her anything. Then we went over to the Bellagio where she showed me the fountain show, that was far better than I ever expected. Then we went in and saw Cirque du Soleil O. The show was awesome. Highly recommend this show to anybody interested. After the show she showed me around the Bellagio, the conservatory was beautiful. This redditor was awesome, an attractive and interesting person who made me feel very comfortable. We shared some great conversations and she was better company than I could’ve hoped for. I don’t want to say too much and reveal personal info, but if she is reading this, thank you that night was perfect. You are an amazing person, and your boyfriend is a very lucky man.
When I got back from the show I had a number of messages from redditors. I had people reaching out for every show! I checked the comment histories of all, many were long-time redditors with enough history to indicate they probably weren’t murderers or rapists. I figured out who was asking for which shows, sent out some messages to follow up with on Saturday and went to bed.
Saturday I met up with a redditor who wanted to take the tickets for the show that I somehow booked for the wrong date. Seemed like a real nice guy, even offered to give me a free service where he works (trying to leave out personal info here). I’m glad those tickets didn’t go to waste, and I hope he and his wife enjoyed seeing Cirque du Soleil Zumanity on Tuesday. If you’re reading this, I’ve kept your number like you asked and will get in touch when I visit again, you seemed like a cool dude who I would enjoy grabbing a beer with.
Saturday night I met up with a redditor to see Cirque du Soleil Love. This show was phenomenal, and I highly recommend this one for anybody visiting Vegas. It is my favorite show of all the cirque shows I’ve seen, which now stands at a total of 9. It is a little different than your typical Cirque show, but pure eye and ear candy, absolutely stunning visuals. My new reddit friend seemed like an eccentric and interesting guy, and I enjoyed his company and hearing a little bit about his life. We didn’t chat too much, which was perfectly fine. If he is reading this, know that I appreciated your company and wish you the best of luck at the poker tables! I hope you enjoyed your first Cirque show!
Sunday night I was supposed to meet up with another redditor to see Cirque du Soleil Mystere. We made plans on Saturday to meet at a pizza shop and then see the show. Unfortunately she had to cancel to pick up a shift at her job. I was looking forward to meeting her, her reddit comments made her seem interesting. If she is reading this, maybe we can connect next time I visit. If not, just know that not everyone from Ohio is as strange as you think!
So I texted the woman I met on the first night and asked if she had any plans for Sunday night. She said she would be happy to join me. We met up early and she showed me around the Venetian to look at all the beautiful stuff there, then we headed over to see Mystere. I had front row seats for the show, and she had never seen a show from the front row so I was glad I could give her a new experience considering she has already seen all of these shows. The show was great, but I’d say it pales in comparison to many others I’ve seen. This woman who accompanied me has left a lasting impression on me, and she will be on my mind for a long time to come. One of the kindest and most interesting people I’ve ever met.
Monday was my last full day in Vegas. Frankly I was ready to head home at this point, 5 days in Vegas is a lot! The redditor I was supposed to meet up with had a family emergency and wasn’t able to make it. I ended up skipping David Copperfield, because I was quite exhausted, my back was in a lot of pain, and seeing the show would’ve meant I’d get about 4 hours of sleep before having to get on the plane to go home. That was fine with me, no regrets at all. To the redditor I was supposed to meet, I hope your child is doing okay and that you were able to get out of the hospital quickly. I’ve got your number, hang on to mine, maybe we can meet up next time I’m in town.
I want to thank all of these redditors from the bottom of my heart, even those I didn’t get to actually meet - you were kind enough to reach out and helped show me that Vegas redditors are some of the best. You all made this vacation so much better than I ever hoped, and I’m pretty sure I had a better time meeting all of you than I would have had if my friend had made it to Vegas. I’m proud of myself for working past all the anxiety I had when I found out I’d be there by myself the whole time, and deciding to reach out to strangers from reddit to keep me company was the best decision I made while I was there. I am sure that I will keep in touch and next time I visit will definitely be reaching out to catch a show together. One of you touched my heart in a profound way, I think she knows who she is, and I sincerely hope we cross paths again some day. She’ll be on my mind for a long time to come.
So that’s my story of how coronavirus ruined my trip, and how Vegas redditors saved it. I’m truly grateful to these redditors and to reddit for everything. If any of you are ever in the Cleveland area, drop me a line so we can meet up. Though you’ll be sorely disappointed in what Cleveland has to offer compared to Vegas!

On mobile
Hello everyone! As the title states, this is my first time to the east coast, and I'm looking for suggestions as to what I should see or do while I'm out here. I live in Las Vegas and in order to escape the heat and the eternal solitide of newly unemployed/4 month quarantine/not having friends in the city, I decided to take a trip to visit my parent who live in the mid-west. Well they already decided to take a trip out here and I just tagged along. The problem is we don't have a plan outside of Fort Sumter and Myrtle Beach, and don't know what cool things the east coast, or The South for that matter, have to offer. I'm just looking for suggestions about unique things in the area to see or do, or fantastic food places I should try as someone that may never have the opportunity to come back. I have about a week here, and am camping just outside of Charleston, SC. Open to anything within a 3 hour drive from here. (We talked about maybe going to Savannah, GA for example) The more specific the better!
Any and all help would be greatly appreciated.
Edit: for example if you came to Vegas I would suggest: 7 magic mountains, hoover dam, valley of fire, death valley as nearby places. Zion, grand canyon, lake powell, antelope canyon as full day trip. Wynn buffet, 8oz steak house, Firefly, as places to eat. Bellagio fountain, stratosphere rides, downtown at night as things to do in town. Etc. I don't expect that many, just 1 thing you think is great about a town or the area.

On mobile
Hello everyone! As the title states, this is my first time to the east coast, and I'm looking for suggestions as to what I should see or do while I'm out here. I live in Las Vegas and in order to escape the heat and the eternal solitide of newly unemployed/4 month quarantine/not having friends in the city, I decided to take a trip to visit my parent who live in the mid-west. Well they already decided to take a trip out here and I just tagged along. The problem is we don't have a plan outside of Fort Sumter and Myrtle Beach, and don't know what cool things the east coast, or The South for that matter, have to offer. I'm just looking for suggestions about unique things in the area to see or do, or fantastic food places I should try as someone that may never have the opportunity to come back. I have about a week here, and am camping just outside of Charleston, SC. Open to anything within a 3 hour drive from here. (We talked about maybe going to Savannah, GA for example) The more specific the better!
Any and all help would be greatly appreciated.
Edit: for example if you came to Vegas I would suggest: 7 magic mountains, hoover dam, valley of fire, death valley as nearby places. Zion, grand canyon, lake powell, antelope canyon as full day trip. Wynn buffet, 8oz steak house, Firefly, as places to eat. Bellagio fountain, stratosphere rides, downtown at night as things to do in town. Etc. I dknt expect that many, just 1 thing you think is great about a town or the area.

Would someone give me the clearest, current lowdown about how Vegas and comped benefits really work for people willing to visit 2-3 times a year and drop a grand or two each time? I am both MLife Pearl and Caesars Platinum (well, 100 tier credits away), and can easily chase the next level this month. Should I chase one or both and why? Legitimate, polished answers I promise to visit this year if you have a local business that applies to me.
Specific questions:
-Over NYE week, can’t recall if technically 2019 or 2020, a lady at Mandalay Bay’s MLife center “gave” me $150 in credit to use at a restaurant. Did she deduct that from some invisible account of mine or directly from my rewards credits or how did that work? Was she mad I was staying at Caesars and trying to woo me back over? I spent equally between MGM and Caesars properties. I MUCH prefer MGM hotels’ styles and designs, namely Delano, Vdara, Aria, Bellagio is traditional but gorgeous… but one year I did more gambling at Caesars just to see what might happen and the room offers were MUCH better. While not a perfect experiment with a control group, I believe the amount spent was equal to my previous year at MGM properties. I also like how Caesar’s tells you directly all of the benefits for each tier hit, MGM either gives less or is more under wraps about the true benefits? I can go next week and easily hit Caesar’s Diamond by taking advantage of their 5x Tier Credits promo for slot and table spending. I estimate it will cost less than $1000 since already at Platinum. But I am also more than halfway to MLife Gold.
Caesar’s Platimum promises no resort fees which is EVERYTHING, 2 nights in Dubai if I fly myself there, which I could, a $100 dinner, some line skipping which is silly but considering how unstaffed some of their areas are, this may actually have some value, and laurel lounge access (though with all my gambling I still don’t have THAT many credits so I don’t know if you can also use cash to get in?), a free stay at Atlantis in the Bahamas, I used to work cruise ships so this doesn’t thrill me but hey…, and a Wyndham tier status match which would be nice… as well as useless discounts and free parking which now everyone gets. And then “1 free night in Las Vegas or Atlantic City for every 5,000 Tier Credits earned in 2020, up to 7 nights” which I have no idea if I have used or not… did my free 2 bathroom suite stay over NYE count as part of these 7 and was that from this year or last year or a combo?
MLife Gold promises discounts, room upgrades subject to availability, which could mean anything, and some line skipping. Meh???
Why the big differences/disparity?
Also…
When I get comped room nights, are those coming out of some database under my account or are they linked to something, and if so, what? Money spent? Or just tier status? Is it a secret? Do the rooms work like money too… i.e. if I take 3 free nights in an amazing suite will I get no more offers or I can take 20 days in a “less ideal” room i.e. Luxor pyramid / Bally’s?
And how do I know those are, or aren’t, coming out of my free rooms earned bank from above in regards to being Caesar’s Diamond?
Lastly…
I’ve also never used any “Gift” Points, are those really actually worth anything legit and worth going back to Vegas in NovembeDecember for?

Would someone give me the clearest, current lowdown about how Vegas and comped benefits really work for people willing to visit 2-3 times a year and drop a grand or two each time? I am both MLife Pearl and Caesars Platinum (well, 100 tier credits away), and can easily chase the next level this month. Should I chase one or both and why? Legitimate, polished answers I promise to visit this year if you have a local business that applies to me.
Specific questions:
-Over NYE week, can’t recall if technically 2019 or 2020, a lady at Mandalay Bay’s MLife center “gave” me $150 in credit to use at a restaurant. Did she deduct that from some invisible account of mine or directly from my rewards credits or how did that work? Was she mad I was staying at Caesars and trying to woo me back over? I spent equally between MGM and Caesars properties. I MUCH prefer MGM hotels’ styles and designs, namely Delano, Vdara, Aria, Bellagio is traditional but gorgeous… but one year I did more gambling at Caesars just to see what might happen and the room offers were MUCH better. While not a perfect experiment with a control group, I believe the amount spent was equal to my previous year at MGM properties. I also like how Caesar’s tells you directly all of the benefits for each tier hit, MGM either gives less or is more under wraps about the true benefits? I can go next week and easily hit Caesar’s Diamond by taking advantage of their 5x Tier Credits promo for slot and table spending. I estimate it will cost less than $1000 since already at Platinum. But I am also more than halfway to MLife Gold.
Caesar’s Platimum promises no resort fees which is EVERYTHING, 2 nights in Dubai if I fly myself there, which I could, a $100 dinner, some line skipping which is silly but considering how unstaffed some of their areas are, this may actually have some value, and laurel lounge access (though with all my gambling I still don’t have THAT many credits so I don’t know if you can also use cash to get in?), a free stay at Atlantis in the Bahamas, I used to work cruise ships so this doesn’t thrill me but hey…, and a Wyndham tier status match which would be nice… as well as useless discounts and free parking which now everyone gets. And then “1 free night in Las Vegas or Atlantic City for every 5,000 Tier Credits earned in 2020, up to 7 nights” which I have no idea if I have used or not… did my free 2 bathroom suite stay over NYE count as part of these 7 and was that from this year or last year or a combo?
MLife Gold promises discounts, room upgrades subject to availability, which could mean anything, and some line skipping. Meh???
Why the big differences/disparity?
Also…
When I get comped room nights, are those coming out of some database under my account or are they linked to something, and if so, what? Money spent? Or just tier status? Is it a secret? Do the rooms work like money too… i.e. if I take 3 free nights in an amazing suite will I get no more offers or I can take 20 days in a “less ideal” room i.e. Luxor pyramid / Bally’s?
And how do I know those are, or aren’t, coming out of my free rooms earned bank from above in regards to being Caesar’s Diamond?
Lastly…
I’ve also never used any “Gift” Points, are those really actually worth anything legit and worth going back to Vegas in NovembeDecember for?

Since the Diamond Casino update, I have seen a large number of 12-year-olds posting Blackjack memes on this sub. As a parent, this has me very worried.
On top of that, I have seen some of the most trustworthy GTA Youtubers giving flawed gambling advice, which can have damaging impact on their gullible audiences.
So that's why I decided to write this up, to educate everyone on the subject, so there will be no more misunderstandings.
(2020 Update down at the bottom.)
If you're one of those Youtubers that wants to use this information in a video, feel free to do so. The more people (especially kids) that become educated about gambling, the better.
But then also please go back and review your own work, and delete or edit the videos that are giving out the wrong advice, like where you're saying you have "a good strategy for making money with roulette", or some other nonsense that I've heard this week. Delete that please.
Before I get into the individual games, I need to discuss a few concepts first, that will make understanding the rest a lot easier.
​
Expected return and variance
A game like Roulette or Slots has a fixed expected return on your bets. This is a percentage that you have no way of influencing. Say you are flipping a coin against a friend, and you both put up $1. The winner gets the pot. Since the odds are even at 50%, in the long run, you will expect to break even. Your expected return is 100% of your bet.
But imagine if you would play this coin flipping game in a casino against the house. On the "house rules" listed at the table they would probably say that you would only get 95 cents back for every win, while you are forfeiting a dollar on every loss. Would you still play?
Sounds stupid to do so, but still, everybody does it. Every bet they place on Roulette, every coin they put into a Slot machine, is based on the same concept.
Those few cents they take on every bet are their profit margin, and has paid for all the Vegas lights, the Mirage volcanoes, and the Bellagio fountains. Make no mistake - casino gambling games are not designed to make you lose, because sure, you can get lucky on a single night, but they are designed to make them win. That's the beauty of it. They can both exist at the same time.
Too many people that don't see how this works, are just destined for disaster. Just because you went on a lucky streak and won 8 games out of 10, does not mean that flipping coins is a profitable game, or that choosing tails is a winning strategy. Always be aware of the house edge, your true chances of winning, and just realize that you got lucky. There is no such thing as a strategy in flipping a coin that will give you a higher expected return, so it's just pure gambling, just like Slots and Roulette.
Most casino games are made in such a way, that your expected return is a little under 100%. This means that from every dollar bet at the tables, the casino expects to keep a few cents. For individual players, results may vary. Some will win, most will lose. But for the house, it doesn't matter. They take millions of bets each day, so for them, the expected average works out a lot sooner. In short: the house always wins.
When looking at the house edge, we're talking about the expected long-term result, based on the game's house rules. But for a player, it can take literally tens of thousands of hands or spins before you also reach this average number. Until that time, you can experience huge upswings and downswings, that are the result of nothing but short-term luck, which is called variance.
Some games and some bets have a much higher variance than others, which means your actual results will differ enormously from what you're expected to be at.
Take for example betting on red/black at the Roulette table. This is a low-variance proposition, because it has a high percentage chance of occurring, and a low payout.
Contrast this with betting single numbers in Roulette, which only win once every 38 spins on average. This bet has a much higher variance, meaning you can easily hit a dry spell, and not hit anything for 200 bets in a row, or you can see a single number hit three times in five consecutive spins. This is not a freak occurrence in high-variance bets.
Even though the expected return in both these bets is exactly the same, there's a huge difference in variance, causing massive differences in short-term results, which can go both ways. You need to be aware of this, before you decide what types of bets you are comfortable with placing.
​
Gamblers' Fallacy
Another thing to realize, is that each individual game, hand, or spin, is completely independent from the one(s) before it, and after it.
Gamblers tend to believe, that the chance of a certain outcome is increased, based on previous results.
The most famous example comes from the Casino de Monte Carlo, where the Roulette wheel managed to land on black 26 times in a row. Gamblers lost many millions during that streak, all frantically betting on red, believing that the odds were in favor of the wheel coming out on red, after producing so many blacks. This is not true. Each round is completely independent, and the odds are exactly the same.
You will hear people say things like a Blackjack table being "hot" or "cold", which is completely superstitious, and should be ignored. The exception was when Blackjack was being dealt from a shoe. It made card counting possible. But with the introduction of shuffle machines, and continuous shuffling like is being used in GTA, this no longer exists.
This is also why "chasing your losses" is a very bad idea. After being on a losing streak for some time, many gamblers believe that now it's their turn to start winning. So they will often increase their bet size, believing that when their predicted winning streak comes around, they will win back their losses, and more.
The reality of it, more often than not, is that people will indeed start playing higher and higher limits, until they are completely broke. Nobody is ever "due for a win". There is never a guarantee that you're about to start winning. In fact, the opposite is more likely to be true. You are, after all, in a casino.
​
Betting systems
Some people like to think that they have a fool-proof betting system, like the Martingale system. Simply increase or even double your bet when you lose, and keep doing that until you win. In theory, this system will always win. So that's why table limits were introduced, and where the system fails.
If you start at the Roulette table, playing red/black, with a small 750 chip wager, and just double your bet every time you lose, you only have to lose 6 times in a row, before you will be betting the table limit of 48,000, just to get that 750 chip profit.
Sure, you can go on all evening without this happening, winning 750 chips each time, but this losing streak only has to happen once, and you're bust. Any betting system like this is ill-advised, because you are hugely increasing your so-called "risk of ruin", and that's what we were trying to avoid.
And even if your starting bet is only 100 chips, after only nine straight losses, and nine doubled bets, you are betting the table limit at 50,000 chips. If you lose that bet, you're 100,000 chips in the hole, with no way to recover that with your 100 chip base wager.
So don't believe anyone that says this is the perfect system to always win in the casino. Sooner or later they will understand why they were wrong, when they're asking you for a loan.
​
Set your limits BEFORE you start playing
One final point before we get into the games, a general tip for people that head out to play: money management.
Just like in real life, before you go to the casino, decide on a maximum amount that you are WILLING TO LOSE.
Bet small enough, so that amount can last you through the entire evening, and you will not be tempted to run to the ATM to continue playing.
Considering GTA money, some people will be comfortable losing 1% of their GTA bank balance, some people will be comfortable with gambling away 5% of their total GTA savings. It's up to you what you can handle. Decide for yourself where it will start to hurt, and don't cross that line.
But whatever number you decide on, as soon as you lost that amount, get up and walk away. Don't chase your losses, stick to your limits, and accept that this has not been your day. There is always another game tomorrow. Always agree with yourself on a simple stop-loss rule, how much you would want to lose at most, and simply stop playing when you get there.
Same goes for winning. You can decide on a number, how much profit you would like to take away from the casino. You can go on a hot streak and be up half a million in a short period of time, but if you would continue to play longer, looking for more, chances are that you're going to lose it all back.
Most people are happy with doubling their daily casino budget, for example. Others are looking for 10 bets profit in Blackjack. Whatever you choose, when you hit that number, you can stop playing and bank your profits, or you can continue playing if you're still enjoying the games, but then only just play minimum bet sizes. Then you're just playing for fun, not for money. You've already made your profit, so simply keep it in your pocket, and don't risk losing it again.
Either way, decide on what your money management strategy will be, and STICK TO IT.
​
Casino games in GTA Online
Now, I'm going to dive into the games that you can find at the Diamond casino, ordered from worst to best.
​
6) Slots
Generally the rule is this: the less strategy a game has, the worse it is for the player. And with slots, this is definitely the case.
The only influence you have, is choosing what type of machine you're going to play. Basically, there are two types of slot machines:
-high frequency, low payout slots
-low frequency, high payout slots
In the first type, there is no huge (progressive) jackpot on offer, just your average selection of prizes that don't go up to crazy amounts.
This will result in a player having many more spins resulting in a win. The amounts that you win on the bigger prizes, will be smaller, but they do come around more often. This type of slot machine has a lower variance, which means that your money should last you longer, winning many smaller prizes along the way to keep you going.
The second type of slot machine lures you in with the temptation of a huge jackpot prize. Even though the long-term expected return on these machines is the same as the previous type, the prize distribution is hugely different. The large jackpot prize weighs heavily on the scale of expected return, but the chance of it hitting is extremely small. This results in a much higher variance on this type of machine. Usually your money will go down very fast, because the smaller prizes are less rewarding than on the other type of machine.
At the Diamond, the info screen says the player return at slots is set at 98.7%. This means that, on average, for every maximum bet of 2,500 chips, you expect to lose 32.5 chips.
This might not seem like a lot, but the danger of slots is that the game is extremely fast. You can spin about once every 6 seconds, which would result in an expected LOSS of about 20,000 chips per hour of playing.
But again, in this long-term expected number, the large jackpot awards are also factored in, and as long as you don't hit those big prizes, you'll see your money go down a lot faster.
In any case, thank heavens the max bet is only set at 2,500, or else we would see more players go bankrupt at alarming rates.
Optimal strategy for slots:
There is none. Because after betting, you have no more influence over the outcome. The only choices you have, is what type of machine you want to play at, and how much money you are going to risk. And those are all personal preference. As long as you stick to your loss limits, as discussed above, there's no harm in having a go every once in a while, hoping to get a lucky hit. Just realize that you don't have a high chance of scoring a big win, so as soon as you do, get up and walk away.
​
5) Roulette
Roulette is also a game where you have no influence over the outcome. There is zero skill involved. You place your bet, and that's it.
In traditional French roulette, a table has only the single-zero, but of course, for American casinos that wasn't enough of a house edge, so they simply doubled their profits by adding a second zero. The house edge was increased from 1/37 to 1/19, which is huge.
This makes playing on a double-zero roulette table by definition a sucker's play.
The payouts scale evenly, which means that a bet on a single number, and a bet on half of the numbers, and everything in between, yields the same expected return. The only difference, again, being the variance that you are willing to subject yourself to.
The player return for double-zero Roulette for all bets is 94.74%.
Except for the 5-number bet, which can only be made by placing a bet on the two top rows that contain 0, 00, 1, 2 and 3. The expected return on this bet is lower: 92.1%. This is because it only pays out 6-1. Why? Well, the number 36 isn't divisible by 5, so the greedy people that came up with double-zero Roulette had to round it off someway, and as expected, it wasn't going to be in the players' favor.Just remember that that 5-number bet is the worst bet at the table, and should be avoided. All other possible bets have the same expected return.
So it really doesn't matter how you spread your bets, if you bet only one chip, or if you litter the entire table with a bucketload of chips. Each chip you put out there, has the same expected return, so there is no strategy that will improve your long-term results.
Assuming that you're betting the maximum table amount of 50,000 chips, you will be looking at an expected loss of about 2,630 chips per spin. Considering that a round takes about 45 seconds to complete, your expected LOSS at the GTA Roulette tables will be around 200,000 chips per hour of playing.
Optimal strategy for double-zero roulette:
Stay away. Stay far away.
​
4) Three Card Poker
With Three Card Poker, we come across the first game where there is actually some strategy involved. You get to look at your cards, and then decide if you want to fold, and surrender your ante, or double your bet.
Additionally, you can choose to place a side bet on "Pair Plus", which offers progressive payouts.
There are some websites out there that ran all the numbers with computer simulations, and even though I would like to quote the source here, these websites are understandably littered to the max with online casino ads, so that's why I have decided against doing that.
Optimal strategy for Three Card Poker:
For this game you only have to remember one strategy rule: Always bet on any high card queen-six-four or better, and fold any high card queen-six-three or lower. That's it. Just don't forget to double check if you're not folding a straight or a flush, and you'll be fine.
This strategy will result in an expected return of 96.63%.
The Pair Plus sidebet, with the payout table that is used at the Diamond casino, gives you an expected return of 97.68%, which is actually a bit better than the main ante bet.
So by playing both wagers, you're reducing your expected losses per bet, but since you're betting more, you're also increasing your expected loss per hour.
My advice would obviously be to not play this game at all, but if you do, put as much of your bet as possible on the Pair Plus, while making our Ante bet as small as you can.
To be able to compare it to the other games at the Diamond, let's stay on that 50,000 maximum wager, meaning making your ante bet 35,000, and your pair plus bet 15,000, if the table would allow it.
This results in an expected loss of about 1,525 chips per hand, and with a round taking about 45 seconds, this adds up to an expected LOSS of around 120,000 chips per hour of playing. In comparison, if you would only play the ante bet for 50,000 per hand, you expect to lose 1,685 chips per hand, which means an expected LOSS of about 135,000 chips per hour. So the more out of that 50,000 wager you can put on the "Pair Plus" sidebet, the better.
Even though it may be fun to try out this game for a bit, since there's only one simple strategy rule to follow, you'll soon find yourself robotically grinding down your bankroll until it has vaporized. You're not missing out on anything if you skip these tables, there is no real challenge.
Just like with Roulette and Slots, if you want to try it out nonetheless, you can just bet the minimum amounts and only play for fun, so it won't matter if you win or lose.
​
3) Blackjack
Blackjack is the most complicated game by far. Simply because the player has to make a series of decisions, which will largely decide the outcome. Luckily, there is such a thing as an optimal strategy, which will be outlined below.
However, the strategy is also dependent on the house rules. These not only affect your expected return, but in some places also your decisions.
Here are the house rules at the Diamond casino:
-The game uses 4 standard decks, and a continuous shuffle.
-Blackjack pays 3 to 2, dealer checks for early blackjack.
-No insurance offered, no surrender.
-Dealer stands on soft 17.
-Double down on any two cards.
-Player can split only once, but doubling after split is allowed.
-Seven-Card Charlie.
Under these rules, and following the "basic strategy" chart, your expected return at Blackjack is a shade under 99.6%, which is extremely good for a casino game, that's why Blackjack should be your table game of choice.
But it comes at a price: you are going to have to memorize the relatively complicated strategy chart, or at least stick it to your monitor until you have it in your head. But in case you ever stumble into a real-life casino, you won't regret having this table memorized, so I would definitely advise you to work on that.
The strategy chart might look complicated at first, but you will be able to notice certain patterns. Your decisions are mainly based on the dealer's upcard, which is basically divided into a weak card (2 to 6), and a strong card (7 to ace).
When a dealer shows a strong card, you will be hitting more often with the risk of going bust, but when a dealer shows a weak card, you're not taking that risk, and you will be standing more, but also doubling and splitting more. You want to increase your bets when the odds are in your favor, and get out cheap when they're not.
But it also helps to take some time to think about why a certain advice is given. For example, why does it say that you always have to split two eights, even against an ace. Well, that's because two eights equals 16, which is the worst total you can have. It's better to split them up, and give yourself a chance of finding a 17, 18 or 19 with the next card. Once you see the logic in that, you'll have one less thing to memorize.
The playing advice in the basic strategy chart is a result of computer simulations that ran all possible outcomes against each other, and produced the most profitable decision for each situation. So you can't go wrong following it.
Optimal strategy for Blackjack with Seven-Card Charlie
The added house rule of Seven-Card Charlie, adds a small advantage for the player, and it does influence a few strategy decisions. For example, you might have a 14 with 6 cards, against the dealer's 5 upcard.
Normally this would be an automatic stand, but if you're only one card away from the Seven-Card Charlie, meaning an instant win for the player, regardless of the dealer's hand, it turns it into a hit.
Here's the most optimal strategy chart to follow for the Diamond Casino house rules: https://prnt.sc/olct6g
You'll see that two fives are missing from the chart, and that's because you never split them. You treat them as a regular 10. You also never split tens. Just stand on 20.
If you follow this strategy religiously, even with a maximum wager of 50,000 chips, you only expect to lose about 215 chips per hand, and with rounds taking about 30 seconds, that amounts to an expected LOSS of 26,000 chips per hour, which is only half a bet. A small price to pay for an hour of entertainment.
But since the expected return is so extremely close to 100%, you will see more positive short-term results than with other games. But obviously it can also swing the other way. Again, this is supposed to be the game where your money lasts you the longest, but always set your loss and win limits before you sit down. That rule simply always applies.
​
Still, even with optimal strategies applied, all these games are expected to lose you money in the long run. So betting any kind of large amounts is not advised. If you simply want to enjoy playing these games, there's nothing wrong with betting a minimal amount. Playing these games for a longer period of time will already cost you money anyway, since your daily property fees will still be charged while you're playing in the GTA casino. As long as you can play for fun, there's nothing wrong, but when you see yourself betting insane chunks of your entire bank balance to try to recoup some unfortunate losses, you're doing it wrong.
As the commercials in Britain all correctly say: when the fun stops, stop.
​
2) Virtual Horse Racing
Now onto the good stuff. I ran some numbers, and I believe Rockstar has made a mistake with the horse racing game. Because as it stands, and if I read the numbers correctly, this game is actually profitable for the player. You can actually make money with this, at least, until Rockstar figures out their mistake and patches it.
If anyone wants to jump into the math and double check this to make sure, please do so. I will add any corrections to this post. This is one of those "to good to be true" things, so I keep thinking that I might have overlooked something. So please verify it if you can.
The setup is this. There is a pool of 100 horses, each with their own attached payout. These are divided into 3 groups, ranked by their odds. From each group, 2 horses are randomly selected to provide a pool of six runners for you to bet on.
Now it's not an actual race you're looking at. You are looking at a raffle. This is important to realize.
Each horse gets awarded a certain number of raffle tickets. The favorites get awarded more tickets than the underdogs, and therefore, have a higher chance of winning.
If this distribution works like it does in the real-life casinos, then the raffle tickets are awarded according to the betting odds.
Example 1: imagine a race with 3 runners, all have 2/1 odds, representing a 33.3% chance of winning. (Because 2/1 means 2 AGAINST 1, so 3 total.) In this case, each horse gets one third of the raffle tickets, giving them an equal chance to win.
Example 2: imagine a race with 3 runners, one has 1/1 odds (or EVENS), representing a 50% chance of winning, and the other two horses are marked up as 3/1, with a 25% chance of winning. The favorite gets half the tickets, the other two get a quarter of the tickets each.
A ticket is drawn, and you'll have a winner.
It doesn't matter in this game which horse you bet on, because the expected return is always the same: 100% or break-even, for the above examples.
Now, what happens if the percentages don't exactly add up to 100%?
They must add up to 100%, because there will always be a winner. And only one winner.
So when this is the case, the actual winning chances of the horses are adjusted to meet the 100% requirement, using their payout odds to determine the scale.
So, if the represented percentages add up to more than 100%, the actual winning chances of the runners will be DECREASED, resulting in all bets becoming losing propositions for the players.
Example: In a 6-horse race, all runners are listed at 4/1, representing a 20% chance. Only with six runners that amounts to 120%. So all chances are scaled down by 1/6th, to end up at 100%.
This means your horse's chances are reduced from 20% to 16.67%, turning it into a losing bet: 5 times you will lose your bet, and 1 time you will win, but only get 4 bets back in this instance, instead of 5. A losing bet in the long run.
This is the type of odds that you find in regular casinos, with fields as large as 15 runners to bet on, where the assumed winning chances always add up to more than 100%, therefore are decreased for all runners, resulting in a house edge.
​
But in GTA Online's Inside Track, there are other scenarios, because of the small field, and the way that they are put together.
In some cases, the represented percentages when added up, are LESS than 100%, meaning that the actual winning chances of all runners, are INCREASED.
This creates profitable bets for the players, because in the long run, you're expecting to win more money than you lose. This is a gambler's dream, pure and simple.
So, according to the in-game information, the three groups of horses are divided as follows:
-Favorites: EVENS to 5-1
-Outsiders: 6-1 to 15-1
-Underdogs: 16-1 to 30-1
​
Let's take the two most extreme examples to show what's happening.
The worst possible field to bet on: two runners at EVENS, two runners at 6-1, and two runners at 16-1.
EVENS represents a 50% chance, 6-1 is 14.29%, and 16-1 is 5.88%. Add those up and you land on a total of 140.34%.
This means that the actual winning chances of the horses are decreased by 28.75% (to get that 140% down to 100%), which makes betting on this field extremely unwise.
A horse at EVENS will only come in as a winner 35.63% of the time, instead of 50%,
a horse at 6-1 will only win 10.18% of the time,
and an underdog at 16-1 will only win 4.19% of the time.
​
The expected return on a bet on any of the horses in this field is only 71.26%, so a maximum bet of 10,000 chips on any of these horses holds an expected LOSS of 2,875 chips.
These returns are the same, because the winning chances are scaled equally, according to the payout numbers. So it really doesn't matter which horse you bet on, in the long run, you expect the same results.
But as explained before, it does influence variance, and therefore your short-term result, which can swing both ways.
​
But now, the best possible field to bet on: two runners at 5-1, two runners at 15-1, and two runners at 30-1.
Odds at 5-1 represents a winning chance of 16.67%, 15-1 odds means 6.25% chance, and 30-1 odds means a 3.23% chance of winning. Add these six horses together, and you only get 52.285%.
This means that, to get from 52% to 100%, the actual winning chances of these horses will be almost doubled! Multiplied by 1.91 to be exact.
So the 5-1 favorites will now win 31.88% of the time, instead of 16.67%,
the 15-1 runners will win 11.95% of the time,
and the underdogs at 30-1 odds will still win 6.17% of the time.
When betting on this field, the expected return on your bet is 191.25%!
This means that a max bet of 10,000 chips will result in an expected PROFIT of 9,125 chips.
This is printing money, if there ever was such a thing.
Optimal strategy for Virtual Horse racing
So all you have to do, is only bet high on the games where you have an expected positive return, and bet the absolute minimum on the games where your expected return is negative. Or back out of the racing game to refresh the field.
If you don't have a way to quickly add up all the percentages, and until somebody shows up here with a neatly formatted table, just use a few general rules of thumb:
-Always bet the maximum on a race with favorites at 2/1 and 3/1 or higher in it.
-Simply skip all races with two favorites at EVENS in it, and at EVENS and 2/1. Or bet the minimum, if you can't skip or refresh the field.
-To decide if you should play races with other favorite combinations EVENS and 3/1, EVENS and 4/1, EVENS and 5/1, or two favorites at 2/1, the payouts on the other four runners determine whether or not it's profitable to play them. The results of betting on these fields vary from an expected 1,330 chip loss (worst-case) to an expected 1,680 chip win (best-case), with a max bet of 10,000 chips.
But if you're not looking for another strategy chart, you might just want to skip these borderline cases, and just cherry pick the best ones, which are easy to recognize, and with which you can never go wrong.
It's difficult to put a number on an expected win-rate, because it all depends on which fields you get presented with, but it's not unreasonable to state that you can maintain a steady win-rate of around 200,000 chips per hour, with about 50 seconds per race.
Remember, you're not trying to win every race. You're trying to win the most money per hour. So don't sweat it when you bet on a 4/1 favorite, and lose a couple of races in a row. It will still be more profitable in the long run. You have the math on your side.
To reduce negative variance, always bet on the favorite, when betting on profitable fields. We're not gambling anymore, we're grinding out a steady profit. We want to keep the swings to a minimum.
I contacted Rockstar support to verify if this is indeed how it works, but the only reply I got after 6 weeks is that they were "looking into it".
User u/Garsant made a useful Excel-worksheet, available for you to download, where you can quickly type in the payouts on the horses, to see if it produces a profitable bet or not. You can find it in his post here: https://www.reddit.com/gtaonline/comments/ekp8na/gta_online_inside_track_odd_calculato
​
1) Wheel of Fortune
The number one profitable casino game in GTA Online is obviously the Wheel of Fortune, because it costs you nothing to play.
Unfortunately, you only get one free spin per day, but it holds great value, so make sure you do it.
With a chance to win a super car, vehicle discounts, expensive mystery prizes (which also can be vehicles), and a lot of cash and chips, the expected return on a single spin is around $100,000 in value.
So don't forget your daily spin, it's definitely worth your time.
​
2020 Update:
As of the Diamond Casino Heist update, the Inside Track horse racing is confirmed to still be as profitable as outlined above.The only thing that seems to be changed, is that you can't refresh the field anymore by backing out of the screen. This does affect your hourly rate in a negative way, but does not change the fact that this game has a huge positive expected return, and should be your go-to when you're trying to take money from the house, without having Lester's nagging voice in your ear. That should also be worth something.
​
And with that, I conclude my 5,000 word essay on gambling in GTA. Questions, comments, feel free to add your input to this guide.
​
Cliffs:
-Gambling games should only be played for fun, not for big money. You should expect to lose in the long run. The house always wins.
-A casino game doesn't have a memory, and betting systems don't work.
-Set your limits before you start, how much you are willing to lose or win, and then walk away when you get there.
-Don't play slots, roulette, or three card poker.
-Only play blackjack following a basic strategy chart (https://prnt.sc/olct6g).
-Inside Track betting can be played profitably, if you only bet on fields WITHOUT a heavy favorite.
-Wheel of Fortune is always your best bet, because it's a free bet.

Part 1: Topaz
Part 2: Joel
Part 3: Fantasia
Part 4: Vio

Bellagio Escape magician Bryan Herring returns after 3 months MIA - emergency leave or clever business tactic?
November 9th, 2014
I scrolled idly down the Internet news article, holding my phone to my ear.
“Did you spread these rumors? That I went missing just to draw attention to a new show?”
“Do I really seem like the type of journalist to capitalize off of rumors?” Topaz said, her voice crackling with tinny distortions. “You disappoint me, Herring.”
“You’re a celebrity journalist. Your business is built on rumors.”
“That’s like saying ‘you’re a magician, your business is built on conning people out of their money.’ In any case, it wasn’t me.”
“I don’t even have a new show,” I said. “Are the people waiting for me to come back to the big stage, or something?”
“This is celebrity news, Bryan. People want everything but they don’t wait for anything. If you don’t have a new show, then you can keep ignoring them and being a tea-sipping hermit crab in your little house.”
I huffed and put down my teacup. The small dried rosebud bobbed on the surface of the peach-colored liquid.
“Whatever, Buckshot Brookie.”
“First of all, don’t call me that. Secondly, it might even be a good thing that people are aware of you right now. Just in case.”
“Just in case of what?”
“You know. Spies and manhunters.”
“They’re all gone,” I said. “The Project is done for.”
“Ever the optimistic one. Alex was right about one thing. Humans always manage to find ways back to forbidden histories. We never know.”
I let out a light sigh. The wisps of steam coming off the rose tea dispersed.
“Speaking of,” Topaz said. “How are things going over there?”
I glanced behind me at the short hallway to the bedrooms. The doors were closed.
“Fine. Getting better, I think.”
“That’s good. Send my regards.”
“I will.”
The door to the guest bedroom opened.
“I gotta go,” I told Topaz. “I’ll talk to you later.”
“Sure thing. Later, tea-sipper.”
I put down my phone and turned.
“Ready to go?”
Standing awkwardly in the hallway in a loose teal shirt and jeans, Nix nodded. Her wings fluttered a couple of times.
“You look good,” I said. “The outfit suits you.”
She managed a small smile.
I got up from the couch, took the black envelope from the coffee table, and tucked it into my jacket.
“You might need a jacket too,” I said. “It’s a bit of a chilly evening.”
“Okay.”
She went back into the guest bedroom. I idled by the front door as I heard her shuffle around the closet. Then she fell still.
“Nix?”
I walked over to the guest bedroom. Nix was standing in front of the closet, staring at the row of garments hung up inside.
On the far left side, almost buried in the shirts and jackets, was a hanger with two clips attached to it. Held up by the clips like satin pants or a scarf, two sheets of iridescent purple scales draped down to the bottom of the closet.
Nix pushed aside the other hangers, until we could see the jagged ends of the pair of shimmering purple wings. The scales had been cut partway, then torn off with rough hands.
I watched the light of the sunset reflecting off the purple scales, staining it red and gold.
Nix took in a short breath.
“Mr. Herring-”
She cut herself off, shook her head, and tried again.
“Bryan.”
“Yeah?”
Nix hesitated. Her wings fluttered nervously.
“Do you think he will someday forgive me?”
“Of course,” I said. “If he hasn’t already.”
Nix looked at me doubtfully.
“He’s happier now because of you,” I said. “I’m sure of it.”
Nix nodded.
“I hope so.”
I helped her pick out a soft white jacket and put it on, tucking her wings underneath it as best I could.
“Let’s get going,” I said. “We’re going to be late.”
“Okay.”
Blue-green butterflies fluttered at the edges of my vision, and Nix’s wings shimmered and disappeared. We did one last check to make sure her clothes didn’t look bulky or awkward on her back. Then, we stepped out the front door into the autumn breeze.
Children were chattering at the end of the block. Cars drove past. The neighbor’s dog was barking. As we walked down the shallow steps to the street, Nix froze in place.
I looked down at her. “You okay?”
Her eyes wavered. She reached out and grabbed my sleeve.
“Bryan,” she murmured, her old, nervous mannerisms threatening to resurface. “I, I…”
“It’s okay,” I said gently. “Would you rather stay home today?”
“I…”
She swallowed hard. Then she shook her head.
“No,” she said. “Let’s go. We’re going to be late.”

We drove in silence for most of the way. Nix sat in the back seat and peered out at the streets as the sunset faded into twilight.
We took a turn off the interstate, and the glittering walls of a baseball stadium came into view. The stadium lights were turned up to full brightness. Colors seeped out into the night sky, clouding up the stars.
The parking lots were filling up. Children and families walked by us as we got out of the car and made our way to the flashing lights. The sound of music slowly drew closer.
The man at the turnstiles held out a barcode reader. I slipped the black envelope from my jacket and took out two tickets, and he scanned the barcode printed next to the glittering purple lettering.
The Mirage Carnival.
We stepped into the stadium, where the giant black-and-purple circus tent was set up. Colored lights filled the air, and music blared from the loudspeakers.
Nix grabbed my sleeve. Beads of sweat had formed on her forehead. Her eyes flickered, leaping from the people to the popcorn carts to the lights overhead.
“Are you feeling okay?”
She took a deep, shaky breath.
“We can always go home if you want to.”
Nix shook her head.
“No,” she said. “I want to see it.”

We were front and center, so close to the stage that we could feel the heat of the fire-eater’s torch and the wind from the acrobat’s swing. When the crowd held its collective breath, we could hear every footstep on the floorboards.
When the aerial silk dancer twirled in her flowing white robe and the stage lights flared, I stole a quick glance at Nix. The flashing lights, the eerie music, and the ceaseless laughter of the undead clowns were too much for her, I could tell. She held on tightly to the edges of her seat, beads of cold sweat glistening on her forehead. Her eyes quivered.
Yet she refused to look away. She was waiting. In the midst of all the breathtaking stunts and tricks, I was waiting, too.
Finally, the lights dimmed to a deep, dark violet. White smoke trickled down the stage. The crowd roared as a small silhouette appeared in the mist.
The figure slowly raised its hand, and through the sheer white satin glove, snapped its fingers. The silken drapes burst into purple rose petals that cascaded down from the girders. The dancer began to fall.
A light breeze parted the curls of white mist, and Alexander Chase stepped forward.
Nix choked out a small squeak as Alex caught the dancer in his arms. For a split second, I saw his eyes flare in pain, but the crowd didn’t seem to notice. He set the dancer back down on the floor, and she exited to the side of the stage.
Alex spread his hands. The air all around us pulsed with heat and sound. He closed his eyes and breathed in the scent of smoke, and his shoulders relaxed, just a bit.
The crowd was crying out his name, his stage name, everything.
That made me remember and correct myself. The young man in the purple satin suit was wearing the costume of Alexander Chase, but he was something else. Just like Nix had begun to call me Bryan, I had resolved to get to know the Mirage by his true name.
Vio opened his eyes and gazed at the audience. His eyes lingered on me, and he smiled.
Then, the show was on.

The cheering crowds didn’t think much of the slight limp in Vio’s gait as he escorted his volunteer onto the stage for his hypnosis act. They didn’t notice the way he leaned most of his weight on his small silver cane when he stood. They didn’t know that he was painfully thin underneath his costume, or that he was blind in his right eye and nearly blind in his left.
When he brought the slender woman onstage and helped her into the wooden coffin, I saw that the table now had a white tablecloth over it.
The trick was now just a trick. The blood didn’t smell like anything. The woman was a good actor, but when she came out of the coffin unscathed, she didn’t have that same haggard look in her eyes like she had been through hell and back.
Vio took a small bow. The lights dimmed as he exited and the stagehands swooped in to clean up the set. The house lights came on and a voice over the speakers announced the intermission.
Nix exhaled.
“What do you think?” I asked.
She pulled her feet up on the plastic chair and hugged herself.
“I hate it.”
I stared at her. It wasn’t usual for her to state her mind so candidly. She saw my surprise and averted her eyes.
“He’s good,” she said quietly. “The humans love him. There’s so many of them here.”
“He is very popular,” I said.
“When he’s standing on the stage like that, dressed in his suit with his wings torn off…”
Nix shook her head sadly.
“We could have gone back. We could have both taken the gate, and we would be in a world where we belonged. Why did he have to complicate everything?”
I didn’t know what to say. We sat in silence for a while as the crowds moved around us.
Then, Nix looked back at me.
“Bryan,” she said. “Humans have a very strange power. Did you know that?”
I shook my head. “Vio once told me that too, but he couldn’t tell me what it was.”
“It’s the power to change reality,” she said. “Far more potently than we could.”
“What do you mean?”
“Humans have curiosity that can tear the space between worlds. They have determination that makes them unafraid to sacrifice their lives for others of their kind. Most of all, everyone here is changing everyone around them. The curiosity and determination. The courage. The willpower. Everything that humans have mastery over spreads like… like a fire.”
“A fire?”
Nix nodded.
“You’re doing it right now,” she said. “Can’t you feel it? You’re glowing.”
I looked down at my hands. They looked the same.
“Vio is glowing, too,” she said quietly. “Little by little. He’s becoming more human. That’s the beautiful and terrifying power that you have. He’s learning to hate and love things, and he’s understanding things like dreams and ambitions.”
The house lights dimmed, and the audience began to settle back down.
“When we escaped from the lab, that was what scared me the most about him,” Nix said. “But humans aren’t afraid of change, are they?”

We went around the back of the Big Top after the show. Security guards were patrolling up and down a line of purple belt barriers and shooing circus-goers back toward the popcorn carts and clowns, but they failed to notice us as we passed them by, masked with Nix’s illusion.
The small black tents of the circus performers were set up near the edge of the stadium. The lights didn’t seem quite so bright, and the sounds of chattering and screaming receded behind us.
I felt a tap on my shoulder. I startled and turned around to find myself face-to-face with the clown with jagged teeth.
He smiled at me and wiggled his fingers. I let out a small sigh of relief.
“Hello again,” I said. “I’m sure you know who I’m looking for.”
The clown chuckled.
“Yes,” he said. “Yes, I do.”
The clowns in the circus had only ever let us hear high-pitched laughter and grating screams, but the voice that came out now was a gentle baritone. I stared at him.
“You can talk.”
“Ah, yes. Alexander has given our voices back.”
Nix tensed.
“What did he do to you?” she asked.
The clown looked down at Nix. Underneath his mask of grey makeup, his eyes turned melancholy.
“Hello, young lady,” he said. “You look just like the small ringmaster. Are you his sister, perhaps?”
She nodded hesitantly.
“I never knew that he had family,” the clown mused. “The boy is such a mystery, yet we still know too much.”
“What do you mean?”
“We keep his secrets for him, young maiden. He gave us a second chance at life, and in turn, we gave him our tongues and swore ourselves into his mystery.”
Nix let out a small gasp.
“You seem surprised,” the clown said. “Does he not share his secrets with you?”
“Finch,” a new voice said. “The circus-goers are lonely.”
The clown turned. I craned my neck to look past his frilled collar. Standing behind him, leaning wearily on his silver cane, was Vio.
“Alexander,” the clown, Finch, said. “I was just about to tell you that you had visitors.”
Vio didn’t look impressed.
“I wouldn’t get close to him,” he said. “He’s a bad influence.”
Finch smiled. “He taught you trust and mercy, Alex. I believe you’re quite fond of him.”
Vio snapped his fingers. Finch coughed, spraying a cloud of sparkling dust onto the grass. When he tried to speak again, his words came out garbled.
“And if you betray my trust, I’m going to keep your tongue forever.”
Finch crossed his arms and looked pointedly at Vio. Vio grinned.
Then he swept his hand through the air, and the stadium lights went out, plunging the world into darkness.
The city sounds grew quiet. The din of the circus-goers became muffled, like there was a thin wall between us.
With a soft click, and strings of soft yellow lights came on all around me, illuminating the small space inside Vio’s tent.
“Take a seat,” Vio said. “Thanks for coming.”
I sat down at the small round table.
“Didn’t want to bring Nix?” I asked.
His expression turned sour.
“I don’t know,” he muttered. “I’m surprised she even came out to see me.”
“Of course she did. She’s your sister.”
Vio took off his satin gloves. Underneath, his skin was a patchwork of glistening red and papery white. On his palm where he gripped his cane, the line of small stitches was threatening to come undone.
We sat in silence for a while. From this close, I could see the jagged scars raking down his face and neck under his stage makeup. The bright purple iris of his right eye was smudged with a thin film of milky white.
Despite everything, he was looking much better than we had found him two weeks ago. The back-alley surgeon that Topaz brought him to said that he was healing alarmingly fast, and that he might even make a full recovery.
The surgeon asked us what had happened to him. Topaz and I said we didn’t know, because we didn’t.
All I remembered was the blinding flash of purple light, the scream, and the explosion that shook the entire room. Then everything was silent and still. By the time my vision came back, Nix was standing frozen in shock, staring at her brother’s broken body on the floor.
Only days afterwards did she tell me that she saw what happened.
She told me that Vio shattered the gate from the other side. Not the steel archway, but the rippling gateway itself. She told me it splintered into a million shards of light, and Vio was standing there on the other side, his eyes glowing like the sun.
Then he collapsed, spilling blood onto the floor.
Nix cried as the surgeon laid her brother on a stained plastic table and cut into his flesh, removing shrapnel and pressing his shredded organs back into place. The machines hooked up to him blinked silently. His heart stopped three times throughout the night.
“This boy ain’t human,” the surgeon muttered as he worked. “Is he.”
We didn’t say anything.
“Topaz,” he snapped, drawing his scalpel across a glistening white membrane in Vio’s stomach. “Answer me.”
“Keep your mouth closed,” she said. “Your license is on the line here.”
The surgeon scoffed, sprinkling dust from his mask into his patient’s bloodstream.
“This is no human child,” he said. “He’s proportioned all wrong inside. His bones are hollow, for chrissake. He’s got something on his back, hasn’t he? Old scars like something was ripped off of him. He an angel?”
“Mouth. Closed.”
The surgeon kept muttering no human could survive this kind of damage, but we waited because Vio wasn’t human.
Finally, after hours upon hours, the surgeon cut the thread off his last suture and set down his tools next to the pale body of his patient, hooked up to half a dozen machines.
“I’ve done what I can,” he said. “If this is one of God’s children, pray to his pappy that he makes it through alive.”
Topaz and I sat around the office and stared blankly at nothing. Nix stood by Vio, gingerly holding his patched-together hand.
Hours passed in silence. The only sounds were the soft chirping sounds of the machines and the steady rise and fall of the ventilator.
Then, as the first rays of sunrise filtered through the curtains, Vio opened his eyes.

“She should have gone home,” Vio said, lurching me off the memories of that harrowing night.
“Huh?”
Vio gazed at me evenly. It was difficult to believe he had once been brought to the brink of death.
“Nix,” he said. “She should have just left me and gone home when she had the chance.”
“She wanted to stay with you, Vio.”
He flinched ever so slightly when I said his name. His face went slack for a split second before it twisted in anger.
“It was a cheap trick,” he growled. “She tricked me. All that for what? She’ll never go home now, ever.”
The yellow fairy lights flickered around us. Vio blinked. A drop of blood slid down from his right eye.
“Careful,” I said gently, pulling out my handkerchief. I handed it to him and he wiped his cheek, leaving a red smudge on the thick powder coat.
He let out a small sigh.
“She didn’t like the show, did she.”
“I don’t think the theme is really her type,” I said.
“She didn’t want me to perform.”
“She was concerned for you. I’m honestly surprised you didn’t fall over halfway through.”
“I had to come,” he said quietly. “The people were waiting for me.”
We fell silent for a long moment, again.
Finally, Vio took a deep breath.
“I’m at that place now,” he said in a low voice. “Where I don’t have to be afraid of anybody.”
“Because Swan Crossing is gone?”
He shook his head slowly.
“When I shattered the gate,” he said. “When I looked upon the void between worlds, I started to feel this universe turning at my fingertips. Once I recover from these wounds, I will be unstoppable.”
I shifted in my seat. Suddenly, the small tent felt cold.
“What do you mean?”
“Swan Crossing has already been forgotten,” he said. “Every piece of knowledge and every bit of ambition for exploring other worlds has been erased. Two weeks ago, the lab technicians who escaped the Alcatraz lab woke up in the morning and wondered what their day job was and why their bookshelves were empty. The story of the other worlds are nothing more than myths now.”
He looked up at me.
“I could make you forget, too,” he said. “I’ve touched the puppet strings of the human mind. I could erase the horrors and tragedy from your mind and take you back to before your world became too small for you. I could return you to a blank slate or fill up your years with soft benign magic. I could do more than that. Much more. I could make you the most famous magician in the world, or the beloved king of the city that never sleeps. Would you like that, Bryan?”
I felt goosebumps spread up my arms. I quickly shook my head.
“N-no,” I said. “No. Never.”
Vio smiled thinly.
“I knew you would say that,” he said. “Even after all this time, humans are such a mystery to me.”
He slowly traced his fingertip along the rim of the table.
“I have a real offer,” he said. “Something that I want you to think about.”
I swallowed.
“What is it?”
“We erase ourselves from history,” he said. “Just you and me. Everyone and everything that we don’t care for will forget about us, and we will live for millennia as mystic strangers to the world, never bothered and always above them all. Nobody will look for Bryan Herring or Alexander Chase. We’ll be free to do whatever we please. We could live among the stars.”
I stared at him.
“You and I, we could do one final show together. Our disappearing act.”
“Is that… is that what you want?”
“I know what I want, Bryan. I’m asking what you want.”
“Whether I want everyone to forget me?”
“Whether you want to spend the eternity of humanity veiled in magic. Real magic.”
My mind was reeling. I couldn’t understand the better half of what Vio was saying, as if he was speaking in an ancient, arcane tongue.
Yet I knew exactly what I wanted.
“Vio,” I said. “Do you enjoy performing?”
He tilted his head. “Why do you ask?”
“Because you dragged your broken body to this stadium just so that you could step onto that stage. If you want to be above everyone and everything, then I can’t begin to fathom why you would ever do that.”
Vio smiled.
“The world loves you,” I said. “And I think you like that.”
“You haven’t answered my question, Bryan.”
“I want to stay, too. As long as there are people in this world who wish to remember me.”
“Very well,” Vio said. “If you change your mind, let me know.”
Not too long afterwards, footsteps came up through the grass outside the tent. Somebody tapped the black fabric from the other side.
“Come in.”
The drapes opened, and Finch the clown poked his head in. He pointed his plastic claws to the outside.
Vio opened his hand, and a mound of sparkling dust poured from thin air into his palm. He brought it up to his lips and blew the dust across the room. The tiny particles flashed through the air and into Finch’s mouth.
Finch cleared his throat.
“Your sister is waiting,” he said.
Vio nodded. He turned to me.
“Shall we go?”
“Yeah.”
I stood up, reached into my pocket, and pulled out my car keys.
“Let’s go home.”

Most of the ride home was, again, in silence.
I glanced in the rearview mirror as we took a turn into the neighborhood streets. Nix and Vio sat in the back seat, staring out the windows on either side and pointedly avoiding looking at each other.
Seeing that, I couldn’t help but laugh.
“What?” Vio asked.
“Nothing,” I said. “When are you two going to to make up?”
They looked away and didn’t say anything.
“You know, I always wished I had a big sister.”
Vio shifted in his seat.
“Or a little brother. Or any sibling, really. It was a lonely thing sometimes, growing up alone.”
They didn’t say anything, again. I looked in the rearview mirror. Nix was looking down at her hands. Vio stared back at me, though in the dim lights passing by the windows, I doubted he could see much.
It was a strange thought, that a master of illusion and a death-defying magician were sitting in the back of my car, refusing to talk to each other because they had a sibling’s quarrel. The world was small, but there were so many smaller things inside it that made it twisted and bittersweet.
We pulled into my driveway. The sound of the engine died down.
The night was cool, with a soft breeze that rustled the trees. We walked through the front yard and up the shallow steps to the door, slowly so that Vio didn’t fall.
The house was quiet. My cold cup of rose tea sat on the coffee table.
“It’s late,” I said, flicking on the soft yellow lights. “You two should get some sleep.”
Vio nodded. He walked past me and sat down on the couch. His cane clattered to the floor. The exertion of the night had finally caught up to him, and the patches on his hands were pale.
I took the teacup from the coffee table. By the time I had rinsed it and put a kettle on the stove, Vio had fallen asleep curled up between the cushions. I took an extra blanket from the guest bedroom and carefully draped it over him. Then I dimmed the lights to a brownout and sat at the small dining table, watching the dim blue glow of the gas stove.
“Bryan.”
I looked up. Nix was standing at the hallway in her new pyjamas. Her wings poked through the holes we had cut and seamed on the soft blue shirt.
“Thank you,” she said. “For everything.”
I nodded. “Of course.”
She looked like she wanted to say more, but in the end, she just smiled.
“Good night.”

Slowly but surely, Vio got better. His eyesight came back. His muscles and bones mended themselves until he didn’t need a cane to hold himself up anymore. Most of his scars faded away.
“It’s a miracle,” Dr. Hales, the back-alley surgeon, told us at his last check-up. “A true freak of nature.”
He turned to Topaz.
“You’re hiding him from the government, aren’t ya?”
“I swear, if you won’t shut up about this-”
“Doctor,” Vio said.
Dr. Hales looked at him, and at that same moment, Vio twisted his fingers on the countertop.
The surgeon blinked. His eyes flickered uncertainly around the room. Then he cleared his throat.
“Erm,” he said. “N-now, where was I?”
“When to come in for my next check-up,” Vio said.
“Right, right. Does Tuesday work for ya?”

The cool Los Angeles winter passed us by, and the mornings began to warm up again. I finished the last of the preparations for my newest show. The city buses that rolled down the streets flashed banners of my face and my name, announcing my return to the big stage.
I woke up every morning to a warm mug of tea on the dining table. Even when Vio was traveling far away with his circus, he never forgot the sweet, fragrant brew with a perfect purple rosebud floating on top.
The world was in love with him, as it had always been. Nix worried at first, but nobody came for us.
Despite everything that happened, we managed to find a new normalcy.
Sometimes, deep into the night, I think I can feel Vio making the world turn. I wake up from hauntingly beautiful dreams that I can never describe, short of breath with a pounding heart. When I crack my door open and look out into the hallway, a shaft of soft purple light is seeping out from under the door to the guest bedroom.
He tells me not to be afraid. I swear the stars are brighter in the sky now than they used to be.
We chose not to be forgotten by the world, but I know that there are people out there whose minds have been touched by Vio’s spell. If you have never heard of Bryan Herring or Alexander Chase, and nobody around you seem to recognize those names either, then there’s probably a reason why.
Perhaps it’s because I’ve told you the truth. Like Vio said so long ago, human knowledge is as dangerous as it is powerful.
If you happen to stumble upon a house in the suburbs of Los Angeles with flowering purple rosebushes in its front yard, walk past it like you’ve seen nothing and we won’t know.
But of course, it is human nature to be curious, and I know that someone will come knocking. Our door will be open to those who do, and as long as I’m not halfway across the world, I will make you a cup of tea and tell you about magic.
Just be aware that everything from our hello to our goodbye will turn into mist, as you walk down the empty street and the Mirage traces your name on the windowsill.
​
End of Arc 3: The Otherworld.
​
Author's Note
Q&A Thread